How to make support legit in PA

Friend has been separated for several yrs. he's afraid to get divorced thinking it'll be more expensive than it is now. He has 2 kids with the wife (married 15 yrs now). He makes about $65,000 a yr. Pays $1,200 month child support and $300 in what he calls alimony. He also pays all their medical (around 5-600 a month), life insurance policies, etc. Because this is not documented through court, the spousal support isn't tax deductible. Doesn't want a divorce so how else can he make this legit? And at what cost? Should he even be paying all this much? Mom works on and off. She really just likes living off of him and says she can get more even tho he's already drowning in the debt she left behind. Any advice is appreciated. She claims kids on taxes so any deduction is helpful but "voluntary" spousal support isn't allowed. He also has the boys two evenings in week and every wkend from fri after work til Sunday night. He's afraid she'll take that too. Also pays for food, sports, etc.