I am a stay home dad for 3 years now, my wife recently up and left me and filed for divorce, I cannot afford a lawyer, what can I do.

First thing, she cannot just say she wants custody and then she gets it.  In the divorce as part of the work your attorney does for you, there will be a parenting plan negotiated between you and your wife.  The parenting plan is a schedule for when the children will be with each of you.  There is joint residential or sole residential custody.  It is up to you and your wife as to how many days the children are with each of you.  Hopefully it can be a schedule that incorporates what is best for your children. As for custody, there is another part to this.  You will also discuss legal custody of the children.  This involves broad parenting decisions and how they will be made.  Who is their pediatrician; what type of religious education; do they attend private or public school; what activities do they participate in?  Most families have joint legal custody. As for spousal support the law looks at the duration of the marriage and the earnings for both parties.  Spousal support comes into question when the marriage is at least 7 years long.  As for income, with you not working the question will be why?  If it is likely that you could return to work then income will be imputed to you.  This means that even though you are not working at the current time, it is assumed you will earn a certain amount of money.  Yours and your wife's incomes are compared.  If there a significant difference in your earnings then the person earing more income will pay support to the other.  The amount of support is a bigger issue to be discussed person to person.  As you see from all of this, your employment is important because even if you don't work, the court will assume you can earn a minimum income and this will influence the alimony discussion.  I tell most clients, unless there is a specific reason against working, it can damage your position to not have earnings.  If right now, you have no income and she is not paying the bills for you and the children, then your recourse is to take her to court for alimony and child support.  She cannot move out and stop paying marital bills and supporting the children.  The law requires that at the outset of the divorce, the status quo must be maintained.  That means, if she was paying all the bills, then she must continue to do so. Since she already has an attorney, you must get one immediately who will file an answer and counterclaim for divorce.  At the same time, the attorney prepares the motion for support and files that with the court.  I am available to discuss this further.  My phone number is 201-440-6300.