I am divorced, my ex and I share my 2 sons, a week on/week off. She refusing to parent my sons. She claims the world will teach everything they need

My questions? Is there any legal way to enforce her to parent? She allows the children to special order fast food nearly every week night, she gives the boys anything they want to keep them quiet. She refuses to tell the boys when they make a mistake on their homework, cuz she wants to support them and it the teacher''s job to correct. She took my son to the store and said happy birthday, you have $250 to shop for your birthday, but whatever. She is unwilling to drive in the car with both kids as they are too loud and noisy, so she leaves them at home with their older brothers as much as possible. She refuses to meet me even half way to form equal boundaries. I have asked to go to counseling, she feels it is unnecessary. I am concerned she is distorting my sons reality, providing no coping skills, and completely creating a biased against me as I do have rules and structure at my home that she wont support. What can I do?