I cannot give you specific advice - but what I can say is that your child would almost certainly benefit from having a father, and if you file a request for custody and visitation you will at least have contact with the child. The nature of that contact will depend on numerous factors, including the issues you raise as well as the child's age and your current relationship with the child. If you haven't seen her for a long time, you might start by requesting counseling with her on a regular basis.
There is a presumption in California that perpetrators of domestic violence should not have custody of their child. There are two things you should know about this law: 1) a person without legal or physical custody of a child can still have extensive parenting time with a child; 2) it is a rebuttable presumption - meaning you can overcome the presumption by demonstrating that it is in fact in your child's interest for you to have sole/joint custody and for her to be placed in your care. The statute is Family Code 3044 (http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=03001-04000&file=3040-3049).
Finally, be aware that the court may refer your family to Child Protective Services. This may not be the worst thing for you, the child very well may need to be taken out of mom's care and the juvenile court system has much different standards for parenting than the family courts. Plus, you will be given legal counsel.
I wish you the best of luck. It is impressive to see someone so willing to work to overcome their propensity for violence.
Answered on Jul 27th, 2015 at 12:55 PM