i have recently become a widow and my step son has been tearing my charater apart piece by piece and i have not been a allowed to see my granddaugher

This sounds like a very unfortunate and sad situation, but it is difficult to answer your question with further information.  If the things he is saying about you are false, you may have a case for defamation.  Defamation cases can be hard to prove and it is difficult to obtain monetary damages unless you can show that you were harmed monetarily.  A court cannot stop him from making such statements.  This is where the law of defamation comes up against the First Amendment right to freedom of speech.  Regarding your visitation rights with your granddaughter, any person with a legitimate interest can petition the court for visitation.  This would be filed in the Juvenile & Domestic Relations District Court of the county in which the child lives.  Grandparents in general have little right to visitation, especially if the child's parents are united in denying it.  Because you are not related by blood, you may have an even harder time.  You would have to show that you have been very involved in the child's life and that it would detrimental to her not to see you.  This answer is given in accordance with the laws of Virginia and may not be applicable in any other state.  It should not be construed as legal advice, as that would require a more thorough analysis of all of the facts involved in a specific case.