I want to file a custody but I live in a different state.

Virginia Code § 20-124.3. sets forth the statutory schedule governing custody and visitation determinations.  The legislative mandate provides the guidance and direction necessary to assist judges in making best interest decisions.  As the father, you have legal standing to file a custody petition.  Unfortunately, the mere filing of a petition does not guarantee that you will receive custody.  Moreover, if the Mother has been the child's custodial parent since birth, absent extenuating circumstances, it is highly unlikely that a judge will divest the mother of custody.   The best interest of the child is of paramount consideration to the court, when deciding matters of custody and visitation.  The Judge will apply the law to the individual facts of each case in order to foster the well-being of the child. Without more details, the facts provided in your summary are insufficient to warrant a change in custody.  As a general rule, in order to modify an existing court order, the party seeking modification must demonstrate a "material change in circumstances" that is in the best interest of the child. What is your "material change in circumstances?"  There is no way to answer your question in this forum, based on the facts presented. Lawyers.com offers general information and not legal advice.  No lawyer can provide proper legal advice without a detailed summary of all the relevant facts in your case, together with a review of all documents and pleadings filed with the court.  If you are serious about a pursuing a change in custody, it is strongly recommended that you meet with an experienced family lawyer in your area to discuss the individual facts in your case in greater details.