I was married in California under confidential marriage.i found out that he was previously deported . he was murdered in Mexico do i file divorce

The marriage was not valid from the beginning. I changed my name after the marriage. Because it was confidential ive had a rough time over the years. I now realize it was never recognized and know that he was excluded from the US. 10 years later I start to file for divorce but rather want annulment. I found out he was murdered in Mexico 2 years ago? Am i now a widow? How do I restore myself as never married based on him not being able to enter into a legal marriage in Calfornia