I was wondering if it was possible to move my son and I from New York to oklahoma with our telling his father? Or what legally would happen if I do?

The short answer is no --  The father is permitted to -- and would likely -- return you and the kids to New York.   What you should do if you need to relocate to OK because of financial issues, support system there, new employment, is to bring an application of your own to relocate based on those factors.  The court will be displeased that he is not working and contributing.   If you can demonstrate that it is in the children's best interests that you move to OK (not sure why OK, but you would have to explain to the court), then the Court might permit you to leave.  It is certainly not favorable to the father than he is failing to support.   Good luck.   Ilysa