Yes, but it is not simply an agreement between the parents. Society at large has an interest is not taking parents away from children. You should consider this very carefully. Once signed and approved, there is no going back. You don't say how old your sons are, but it does seem that they are old enough to talk and have opinions. Trust me that if they did not still love you they would not bother with their opinions. Every child of divorce fantasizes about his parents' reunion, even those who have been through abuse. Attacking your wife and their sister may be their (very inappropriate) way for vocalizing this fantasy. It doesn't make their, or your former wife's, behavior OK, but it may help explain it to you. Start referring to the daughter as "[her name], your sister" and your wife as "[her name], your step-mom". Tell them out loud and with vigor that name calling is never acceptable, especially within the family and that by insulting their sister, they are insulting both you and themselves and hurting your feelings. You can punish inappropriate behavior on their part, always within reasonable limits of acceptable forms of punishment, but you did not divorce them and they are not free to disrespect a parent or a sibling and you and your daughter are still their family, as is your wife a new member of their family, just as their mom's husband will be if she chooses to get married. Don't abandon your kids.
Answered on Aug 21st, 2012 at 2:24 AM