In Maryland, a spouse doesn't have to "give" another spouse a divorce. It would be a contested divorce. It appears at least on of the grounds for the divorce in this cas would be living separate and apart for at least two years.
Moreover, Maryland is not a community property state. As a result, the division is based on equity. The court looks at, among other things, the length of the marriage.
If you are concerned about your 401K, you probably have sufficient money to consult and hire a lawyer to protect your assets and your children.
Answered on Sep 10th, 2016 at 4:35 PM