In what state do I get a lawyer?

It depends on what you are trying to do.  If you are trying to enforce an existing court order, you must start by going to the court in which the order was entered.  If you are trying to initiate a new case, it depends on whether the subject of the lawsuit is your children or support from the other party, etc. You would want to get a lawyer in whichever state the legal proceedings are held.  This answer is given in accordance with the laws of Virginia and may not be applicable in any other state.  It should not be construed as legal advice, as that would require a more thorough analysis of all of the facts involved in a specific case.