Is it best for the kids to speak with to Judge, so he knows it's not an ex-wife's anger and what all is involved in the process & estimated cost?

First off, was the original dissolution judgment entered in Oregon? I am not licensed in Washington so I am not qualified to respond if it is a Washington case. If it is an Oregon case, I am assuming that you were awarded sole custody of both chilren with Dad to have specified parenting time and to pay support pursuant to the Oregon Guideline Child Support formula. If this is the case, you can bring an Order to Show Cause Re: Modification of Parenting Time in the court that entered the original judgment, but you would have to be able to allege and prove that there has been a "material change of circumstances" that merits a change in the original order. While the facts of the alleged change would govern the outcome of the motion, in general judges are very leery of cutting off a parent's visitation entirely absent a clear showing of danger to the kids or abusive behavior by the parent whose time your are seeking to limit. As to the ability of the kids to speak with the Judge, we have had cases in which the Judge spoke with the children in chambers, both with counsel present and without, but the parents are excluded to keep from putting the kids in the position of being forced to alienate at least one of their parents. In such a case, the Judge will listen to the kids but may not rely entirely upon what they say to make a decision.