Is there anything I can/should do if the mother makes no effort to visit our son from early August until December 15, 2012?

Question

I have an 8-month old son that lives with me.  His mother and I have not yet gone through custody with the court.  We have verbal arrangements that she is allowed supervised visits every Wednesday and every Saturday. I have learned that she is most likely moving to another state and intends for the man she will be living with to bring her to see my son.  I know that the long absences she has already pulled will not be good for him as he gets older.

Robert De Groot · Answer

What you should do is get to court immediately and have your rights and responsibilities determined in a paternity action.

Joanna Mitchell · Answer

If you have not yet filed a legal action to make your custody official with a court order, you need to do so as soon as possible, as nothing right now prevents her from just taking the child from you out of state. You really need to consult with an attorney in order to move quickly on this.

Connie Ray Roper · Answer

It depends on your situation.  If you were not married to the mother, the child is only with you due to her generosity.  You have no legal right to custody/visitation and she could come and get the child at any time.  You need to file an action to establish paternity/custody/visitation.  Within that action, your rights would be established and you could establish custody and/or visitation - for both parents.  There's nothing you can do to make someone to do the right thing as far as visiting.  The hiring of an attorney is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisement.

Sherrie Davidson · Answer

Even a court will not force a parent to be a parent. You could and should go to court to get custody and visitation orders. However, again, no one can force them to visit a child.

Mark Brown · Answer

My strong recommendation is to seek a court ordered Parenting Plan that (1) confirms your legal custody of the child and (2) limits the mother's visitation to "supervised" visits only upon a specific schedule.  (You do not say why the supervision is necessary or appropriate; and I have no way of telling if a court would order such a limitation.)

Richard Jacobson · Answer

Generally long absences from a mother are indeed bad for a child.  Except in the case of some very bad mothers, I expect.  I think your best bet is to begin a paternity case in your county, in the course of which you would seek sole legal custody and primary placement of the child.  One or the other parent would likely be ordered to pay some supportwhich can make a neglectful parent suddenly want to see the child very frequently (so as to get a reduction in court-ordered child support).

Anne Howard · Answer

Go to court get a custody order that she needs to be in reunification therapy before she can see him alone. Son may need therapy to deal with issues of abandonment.

Mark T. Peters · Answer

You need to go to court and get an order regarding custody and visitation.  Without a court order, you both have the right to custody of your child.  She might decide to take your son with her.  With no court order, the police have no basis for taking your son away from her.  So, what you can and should do is go to court to get a custody order in place.

John Kirchner · Answer

You are taking a big risk by failing to initiate court proceedings to decide parental rights.  Since you apparently not married, you need to understand that as an unmarried father you have absolutely no rights that can be enforced by any means.  As long as the mother continues to make no effort to maintain contact you won't have any real problems until the child is school age; but, you can't count on that.

Annette Sandoval · Answer

You need to file a petition to establish custody, parenting time and child support. If nothing is done she could potentially take the child out of state and it could be difficult to get him back. You will want Arizona courts to assert jurisdiction.

John Brennan · Answer

You need an order of the court regarding custody and support. Explain all of the situation and history.

Eric Lumberg · Answer

You cannot force a parent to see the child, but if you obtain a custody order and parenting time schedule, the parent may be more apt to follow it.  Consult with an attorney to discuss your options with this issue and all other family law matters.

Loren Zahn · Answer

Get a written order confirming what is in place verbally.

Sharon S. Sipes · Answer

You should immediately see an attorney to file a petition for custody and get a temporary order of custody and parent time otherwise if she takes the child with her you will find it extremely difficult if not impossible to get any assistance in regaining custody of him.

James Lentz · Answer

If you reside in Ohio, I would encourage you to save every penny you can for a custody dispute lawsuit.  The fact is : you have no right to be the custodian of that child.  If mom shows up and demands you turn the child over to her, the police may well enforce that demand.  Ohio statutes require that the mother be the residential parent and custodian until an order of the court changes that.  She could stop by with her boyfriend, obtain possession of the child and leave town before you could file a restraining order with the court.  Is your name on the birth certificate? That is a factor the court may consider.

George Downing · Answer

You should immediately have a lawyer to petition the court for a custody/visitation hearing.

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Is there anything I can/should do if the mother makes no effort to visit our son from early August until December 15, 2012?

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