my ex wants to take our daughter out of state

First look at your existing court order to determine if there is any term in the order that requires him to seek your consent before he travels our of state with your daughter.  If not, then he is not required to get your aggreement to the trip.  Most standard orders do not contain any requirement of notification of out of state travel or a need for the parties to agree before one may travel out of state. On the other hand, there are often international travel provisions in orders.  Those do not allow you to prohibit the travel, but do require him to give notice and details about the travel. Of course, if he is requesting any favors of you regarding dates of the visit that may or may not fit into the possession schedule he has, then you could say you do not agree to giving up time or being flexible on his dates of possession.  If there is some danger of international abduction, then you need to get back into court to request the court modify your order to add terms designed to prevent international abduction. As a practical matter, I suggest you ask your ex to let you know where he will be and when, and that he provide a contact number in addition to his mobile phone.  Also request that he have your daughter call you a few times during the trip to reassure you that she is o.k.