Should I become my mother's power of attorney if I live closer to her than my brother?

Question

My mother has Alzheimers. My husband and I live close to her compared to the rest of the siblings. My brother who lives several thousand miles away is currently the power of attorney. Would it be better for me to become power of attorney as my mother's condition degrades?

Bernard H. Greenberg · Answer

Your mother should pick the person she is comfortable with to act as her agent in her Power of Attorney. Close proximity can be a factor in what makes her feel comfortable.

Christine James · Answer

It is up to your mother if and only if she still has the capacity to change her agent.  If she does not, your brother will remain her agent unless removed through a conservatorship for some kind of failure on his part.

Brian Haggerty · Answer

Yes and no. In many ways, these days, financial matters can be easily handled at distance, by phone, by computer. You, living near, should have her health care power of attorney (in an Advance Directive). Your brother can delegate specific tasks to you under his POA. Make sure now, while Mom still has capacity, that banks and brokerages recognize the POA and will work with your brother. Final answer, too  it's Mom's call. If she would rather you be POA (so you and she can discuss matters while she is still able) then make the change.

James Maguire · Answer

Yes. That would make matters simpler.

Dara J. Goldsmith · Answer

It really does not matter with the internet and ability to handle issues remotely.  In any event, if your mother has dementia, she may not be legally competent to change it.  You and your brother should address the logistics of day-to-day care and bill paying to see if you are in agreement on next steps.  If not, and it is not a workable situation, you may need to pursue the added expense of guardianship.  If that is the case, you should speak with legal counsel.  This information is only intended to give general information in response to an inquiry.  It does not establish an attorney client relationship.  This response is only based upon the limited facts presented and is merely intended to assist you in determining if you should contact an attorney to provide you with legal advice.

Thomas Phipps · Answer

It is up to her to decide if she wants to make a new power of attorney.  She would have to be mentally competent to execute a new power.

Thomas Edward Gates · Answer

It depends upon the types of financial matters your mother has.  If there is no decision that requires on the spot response, then there is no need to have you as POA.  However, if your brother is hard to reach or travels, then there may be a benefit to have you as POA.  You both can be POA at the same time.  You need closure on this issue before your mother condition worsened.  She needs to understand and have full knowledge of the legal action being taken and must approve of it.

James Frederick · Answer

That is a decision that your mother would need to make. You may want to discuss your concerns with your siblings and your mother to come to an understanding as to how things should be handled. Assuming your mother still has capacity, she can change her POA form.

Edwin K. Niles · Answer

On the face of it, the answer would be yes.  However, sometimes family dynamics enter in to such a decision.

Kristen Carron · Answer

As a practical matter, it probably would be easier for you to be the power of attorney for your mother if you live closer to her.  However, if your mother has Alzheimers she may not have the mental capacity to sign a new power of attorney to appoint you.  As a result, your brother would have to remain power of attorney.  If your mother is able to sign a new power of attorney, you will want to do it as soon as possible since as time passes her mental ability to understand what she is signing will diminish.  You may also want to consider speaking with your brother about this.  The last thing you want to do is have your mother sign a new power of attorney and then have your brother challenge it.  You'd be dragging yourself into a legal battle that you don't want.

Mark T. Peters · Answer

It might be more convenient, but if your mother is incompetent, then she can't give you the power of attorney.  Does the power that she gave your brother give him the authority to appoint a new attorney?  If so, he can do it.  Otherwise, it is the brother or you file for guardianship and conservator ship.

Brooke Ashton · Answer

Generally it is better to have a power of attorney who is in the immediate area, but it is not required. It is really a convenience issue. One thing to consider is that your mother may not have the capacity to change her power of attorney at this point if she has Alzheimer's.

Norman Green · Answer

That's up to your mother.  Not you or me.

Jayne Sebby · Answer

Some powers of attorney are no longer valid once the grantor becomes incompetent due to a medical condition.  An option would be to petition a court to grant you guardianship of your mother's person and possessions since you are the closest to her and to grant your brother conservatorship of your mother's financial matters.

Frances Headley · Answer

Generally, it is better to have a person close named the agent in a health care power of attorney as health matters are often time sensitive and can not wait for someone to travel.

Jay Rigdon · Answer

The best choice is whomever your mother selected. If you believe that person is not acting in her best interests, you can petition the court for a guardianship.

Georges Shers · Answer

Yes, it would be better but your mother is no longer in the mental state that she can give anyone the power of attorney.

Erven Nelson · Answer

It depends on her competency to sign a POA.

Marco Caviglia · Answer

It is advisable to obtain a durable power of attorney PRIOR TO the principal's mental degeneration.  If you mother is already incompetent from her condition, it is too late, and you must seek a conservator ship through the court.

Michele Ungvarsky · Answer

It would probably be a good idea to get both a comprehensive power of attorney for health care decisions as well as financial decisions before your mother becomes incompetent.  I would suggest in an abundance of caution that you have your siblings listed as alternates on the powers so they can step in if you are unavailable for some reason.  Also, make sure you keep in close contact with them when you make any decisions so there are no surprises.

Victor Waid · Answer

If your mother has Alzheimer's and is not lucid, then she has no mental/legal power to issue a power of attorney.

Edward Armstrong · Answer

It makes quite a bit of sense for you to be appointed attorney in fact under a power of attorney for your mother. You should not waste any time doing this as your mother cannot have a new power prepared if she is not mentally competent.  You need to retain a lawyer to help you through this.

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Should I become my mother's power of attorney if I live closer to her than my brother?

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