should I get a divorce or separation? which is shorter and more appropriate for me?

While the answer in California may very well be different, in Virginia the separation papers do not serve any purpose, except to resolve any property that you may have together and a separation agreement is required in order to get a divorce in Virginia after only a six month separation, if you have no children.  But since you have already been separated more than a year, you do not need that.  You cannot force someone to sign separation papers, so if your spouse refuses to sign, then you really have no choice but to file for divorce, if you want to obtain a divorce.  Any property and support issues that may have been resolved by the separation agreement will have to be heard by the court and decided by the judge.  And there is still an opportunity for your spouse and you to reach an agreement, while the divorce is pending. It is up to you whether you file in California or Virginia.  You can file where either of you meets the residency requirement.  However, if she has no connections to Virginia, she may object to jurisdiction here in Virginia and demand that the divorce be transferred to California.  it's impossible to say how long the whole process will take as every case is different and it will largely depend on how much the two of you fight over things versus reaching an agreement.  In Virginia some courts will push the case through within one year, if you don't resolve it sooner.  Other courts will let the case linger for several years before finally dismissing it, if there is no action taken by the parties to finalize it. This answer is given in accordance with the laws of Virginia and may not be applicable in any other state.  It should not be construed as legal advice, as that would require a more thorough analysis of all of the facts involved in a specific case.  If you need further information or assistance, please feel free to contact my office for a consultation. Case results depend upon a variety of factors unique to each case. Case results do not guarantee or predict a similar result in any future case.