want to stop paying spousal support

The question is a bit cryptic.  You appear to be saying: There is an extended protective order (presumably against the your ex). Your ex is continuing to violate that order by making threats. You (presumably) are paying spousal support to your ex. Those two things are not connected, directly, anyway; you can seek several different types of sanctions for TPO violations, but terminating spousal support is not one of them -- unless the underlying facts give a right, either under the court order, or under a general legal principle such as "changed circumstances" to make such a change.  I suggest a consultation with a family law specialist, to go over all the facts, and evaluate what options are available.