What age are children allowed to decide which parent they want to live with in New York?

Hi   Typically, a judge will consider the wishes of a child in his/her early teens -- usually 13 or 14 is the winner.   11 and 12 are on the fence unless the child is particularly mature and verbal about his or her wishes.   A child about to turn 11 may be too young for a judge to weigh her decision as much as the judge's own considered judgment about the appropriate place for a child to live. A judge will also consider what is in the child's best interests.  If there are reasons why having your daughter live with her mother is contra-indicated, that information should be brought to the attention of a judge.  If the decision to live with you has nothing to do with her mother's fitness as a parent, then I don't feel comfortable telling you that a judge will sufficiently weigh your daughter's wishes at this stage of her life.   However, in a couple of years, you should feel fairly confident that her wishes would be dispositive unless a judge believes that she is being manipulated by you to move to your house -- obviously, this is not what we would want a judge to conclude!  If the desire to live with you is entirely for the appropriate reasons, a judge will give weight to your daughter's wishes at that point.