what are my rights as a non custodial parent when my ex won't let me see my daughter on the days the court says I can

You have the right to have the court order enforced that allows you to see your child.  If your ex will not let you see the child on the days you are supposed to, you can go back to court to enforce that order, and ask for attorneys fees and costs if your ex is found to be violating the order.  Good luck.