QUESTION
What are my rights if I am not the biological father? How?
Asked on Sep 08th, 2015 on Child Custody - Wisconsin
More details to this question:
My wife and I have been married for 3.5 years and 7 months ago she gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. We have been married the entire time and consider ourselves a healthy family unit and we both love our daughter more than anything in this world. Recently, it was brought to my attention (because she didn’t want to lie about it anymore) that potentially I am not the bio-father. She had a brief 3-4 week affair that she regrets and is now making amends for it. I have maintained that she is my daughter no matter what, and that the results of the DNA test will not diminish my fatherly love for our daughter, or love for my wife, for that matter. Here's the problem...in trying to disprove his paternity, she and potential bio-dad agreed to a DNA test that she now says she thinks may work against us. He insists that if he is the father, that there is no room for me in her life, and thinks that breaking up our family would be in our daughter's best interests. My daughter and I share a bond that is like no other that I have ever experienced (never married before, no kids before this) and she is a daddy's girl through and through. I was open to him playing a limited role in her life if proven to be the bio-dad, but now he is making statements that lead us to believe that this will only bring turmoil in her/our lives. He is currently experiencing minor money troubles and probably can't afford a lawyer, but I want to be prepared. I never wanted to keep him from her if he is the bio-dad, until now that he is threatening that he wants to be the sole father figure. What rights do I have in trying to maintain our family that wants to push forward as a healthy cohesive family unit?
1 ANSWER
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I'm sorry for your troubles. I am the father of a daughter myself. First of all, the purported bio-dad must start a paternity action, in which he will have the right to order DNA tests. They may show he is not the father. Or they my show that he is. At that point there will be a potentially demanding court dispute over the best interests of the child. Since she has lived all her life with you (and her mother, I assume), there is some chance that the Court will decide not to disrupt her life by intruding a new 'father' into the situation. Even if the Court determine that bio-dad is the 'real' dad, the child's mother has a strong say in matters of custody and placement of the child, and will no doubt argue in favour of the present arrangement. A study is often done, and a guardian ad litem (a lawyer to represent the best interests of the child) typically appointed. Both the entity which does the study and the GAL will issue reports and recommendations concerning what is best for the child, and you and your wife, if you wish and if you can afford it, can have an independent evaluation performed. Consult a skilled family law attorney before the bio-dad takes any court action or otherwise as soon as possible afterward. It's almost always worth the investment. Good Luck.
Answered on Sep 08th, 2015 at 5:11 PM