QUESTION
What are some possible outcomes of my custody case?
Asked on Oct 10th, 2013 on Child Custody - Oklahoma
More details to this question:
My ex and I have a 7 year old daughter together (we were never married). We never had any legal parenting agreement drawn up, though he did sign a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity. Since she was 2, he and I have been sharing 50/50 custody. Last month I filed a parentage act for sole custody after finding out my ex was abusing cocaine. He admitted in court to using Ecstasy 5-6 times in the last year, and was ordered a hair follicle drug test by the courts. His levels for cocaine/alcohol abuse came back off the charts: 20,000 mg/pg. There were also allegations of him dealing Ecstasy, but those allegations have not been proven. He now has supervised visitation, no overnights, and no driving privileges with her in the car. He recently approached me wanting to settle outside of court and compose our own agreement. I wouldn't mind avoiding the $50-100k price tag that goes along with a full-blown custody battle, but naturally, I want to make sure my daughter is safe, first and foremost. Father seems committed to getting clean though that remains to be seen. I took the hair follicle test as well and it came back clean. I don't drink or use any illegal substances at all. I'm remarried to a man who is a wonderful step-father to my daughter, and my daughter has a 19-month old brother with us. Both of us are professionals. Dad has a good job as well, but , no wife or other children. So, assuming he did get sober, I want to know what some likely outcomes would be if we stayed in the court system for the duration of the case? If he and I were to come to an agreement outside of court, I'd like to offer him something comparable to what would likely be the outcome if we saw this case through the courts in its entirety.
2 ANSWERS
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The Court will establish legal custody, parenting time and support. The Court can either adopt your agreement, or make its own determinations based on what you describe regarding parenting time and statewide guidelines for support. From what you describe, supervised parenting time appears very appropriate. The arrangement you now have relates to parenting time. Parenting time will impact the support obligation, at least if there is overnight parenting time by the Father. A full blown custody/parenting time dispute should not cost the amount you state.
Answered on Oct 14th, 2013 at 10:00 AM
Given the existing status, you would be rather foolish to exit the protections provided the child by remaining in the court process. A private agreement is not enforceable. You can not compel further testing to know he is staying clean. His test was off the charts. You want to ditch supervised visits, no driving with the child, and other protections? No up side to the child to so so. You already have an order in place. It remains in place until modified. That's on him to establish and given he was off the charts, absent very clear evidence of improvement on his part, any expenses you incur the court will likely assess to him if you request it. Of course he wants out from under court supervision. The only question is why on earth would you even consider it? In a word, don't.
Answered on Oct 14th, 2013 at 8:45 AM