What can I do if I am sending my ex-wife child support checks each month and she isn't cashing them?

Question

What can I do when I send my ex-wife my child support check each month and she doesn't cash them?

Paul Eads · Answer

Is there a court order in effect?

Tina Fox · Answer

You are keeping your obligation. You need to keep record of your sending them, making copies of the face of the check and even send them with confirmation through the mail (an additional $.71 I believe) but it will be worth the additional cents if she decides to take you into court for failure to pay, you will have proof that you have indeed sent the monies and she has simply not cashed your checks.

Joanna Mitchell · Answer

Nothing. You are covered if you can prove that you are sending them, and I would make sure that you don't use the money for anything else either, just in case she suddenly decides to deposit them all at once.

Roianne Houlton Conner · Answer

Make sure that you have a record or a copy of each check that you send her.

Steven Burkhalter · Answer

Make sure you keep a record of the checks sent because she may seek "back support" later.

Erin Farley · Answer

I do not know why your wife would not be cashing the checks. You are doing the best you can do by sending them - and doing so by check will allow you to keep a record that you are complying with the child support order/obligation. The only better record-keeping you could do is to make a copy of the check before you send them and also send a letter to her (keep a copy) that reminds her of all the support checks you have sent that have not been cashed and request that she cash them. This establishes a record and is proof that you have complied with your obligation. You need to keep enough money in the bank to cover those checks should wife decide to cash them all at once.  I hope that your wife has the financial stability and where with all to be caring for your children adequately without the support. If your gut is telling you that you have anything to fear, trust it. My instant thought is that either wife is being really kind to you or she may be having a period of some emotional/mental instability.

Jay Neff · Answer

Keep very good records.  First, leave the money to cover all of the child support checks in the bank account.  That way, if she ever does cash the checks, the money is there to cover them.  Second, make a photo copy of each check before you send it.  Third, keep copies of the bank statements and check register.  Forth, if you're not doing so already, mail the checks certified mail, return receipt requested and keep all of the receipts.  The point of all of this is to accomplished to things.  They are:  (1) being sure that you have the money to pay all of the support in case you ever have to and (2) having records to show that you have made a good faith effort to pay the child support just in case your ex ever claims that you haven't been paying.

Steven D. Dunnings · Answer

Nothing. I am assuming you are not using the Friend of the Court.

Gary Moore · Answer

Hold on to the money for when she claims your failure to pay child support.

John G. Miskey · Answer

Keep good records of payments and uncashed checks.  Follow up with her writing, e.g. email, to create a record that you are trying to pay child support.

Michael D. Fluke · Answer

The smart thing to do would be to keep a paper trail of all of the checks that you have written.  If the checks have expired, you may want to start a separate account and keep the money in this account so when she does come around and seek the money, they money is available and you do not end up facing a contrived Contempt motion.  Good luck.

Patrick "Leh" Meriwether · Answer

You have to leave the money in your account and don't touch it.  As soon as you wrote the check, the money was no longer yours, even if the cash was still in your account.   If she suddenly cashes the checks, they won't bounce.  Also, if she files for contempt, the Judge will believe your story because the money will be sitting in the account.  You may want to switch to directly depositing the funds into her bank account.

Patricia C. Van Haren · Answer

You may wish to check the address where you are sending the checks to.  If that does not work, you can contact the State Disbursement Unit and request that they open a child support case for you. You would then send all checks to the State Disbursement Unit and they will send it to her.

Loren Zahn · Answer

If you want to make sure that you are getting credit for payments you send, you can open a case with your local child support office and pay through them. They will send her a check and it will still be her responsibilty to cash it, but it won't be your problem if she doesn't.

Paul J. Wallin · Answer

You should send her regular emails and make her sign for the checks that she is receiving by registered mail.

Tajara Dommershausen · Answer

I don't get it.  Make sure you send them, check with the bank when they become invalid and keep a record.  If it really bothers you, give her cash or set up an account and put the money in it.

Glenn Tanner · Answer

Keep copies of what you send and send it by certified mail return receipt requested.

John Kirchner · Answer

As a practical matter, there is nothing you can do other than be sure you can protect yourself if and when she files a complaint that you have failed to pay.  If you are paying by a personal check, it would help that you set aside the money into a separate account so that if she complains in the future you have the funds to quickly catch up. If you do that, you can simply stop sending the checks until she complains. That won't prove that you sent the checks if she says she never got them.  So, a safe procedure would be to use bank/cashier checks that take the money out of your account.  If she fails to cash those, you can clearly prove you  tried by the bank records; but, if she never cashes those, you are out the money and the children never benefit.

Daniel B. Rubanowitz · Answer

If you are sending your ex-wife child support checks each month and she isn't cashing them, then you should communicate with her and ask why she is not cashing the checks and confirm that you have her correct address.  Whether you communicate with her or not, you should make sure that you keep a copy of each check for your records to evidence your effort to make timely payments.    If you have a problem communicating with your ex-wife, perhaps you should consult with a Family Law Attorney.  Good luck.

Hugo Florido · Answer

It doesn't matter that she cashed them . The checks are your evidence of payment.

Glen Edward Ashman · Answer

Make photocopies when you send them and send each by a method where she has to sign or where you can prove delivery.

Find a Lawyer

Ask a Lawyer

Read Legal Articles

Ask a Lawyer

Read Legal Articles

What can I do if I am sending my ex-wife child support checks each month and she isn't cashing them?

21 ANSWERS

Find Local Child Custody Lawyers

Helpful Resources

Ask a Lawyer