QUESTION
What can I do if my ex keeps threatening to go after full custody?
Asked on Nov 17th, 2013 on Child Custody - New York
More details to this question:
My children are well cared for. They have everything they need, clothes, food, roof over head etc. My ex buys things for them all, name brand things, and buys them things that they "want." When I don't do as he thinks I should, he threatens "to get a guardian to prove I am a bad mother because I don't provide for my children. I spend thousands of dollars on vacations "He says "I don't buy them basic things and that this is going to make it easy for him to get custody. That he has bought them more clothes than I have in the last year" all of which are untrue statements. He loves to push all my buttons. He is in turn turning the kids against me with statements such as "Honey, I am sorry but your mother needs to start providing for what you need. You should have dress shoes already not asking me for them." All because they want dress shoes to wear for a certain dress and does not have them. I told her that she needs to find an alternate outfit of choice then, the money is not in the budget to go and get new shoes to wear one time. What can I do? I am at my wits end.
4 ANSWERS
Appellate Attorney serving Grosse Pointe Farms, MI
at
Musilli Brennan Associates, PLLC
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See an attorney. If the facts are as you state this is a poor argument to change custody. I can explain why.
Answered on Nov 22nd, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Commercial Contracts Attorney serving Boise, ID
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Peters Law, PLLC
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Tell him to put up or shut up. Either file for custody or let it go. If he files, he will have to prove that there has been a substantial and material change in circumstances. You might suggest that you two go to mediation or counseling, but I think he just wants to play the big man. Tell you children that he is not supposed to put them in the middle. Also, why spend so much money on vacations? Worry about the basics first, vacations are not a necessity.
Answered on Nov 20th, 2013 at 8:17 PM
If your ex was serious about going back to court, you would be served papers, not another vague threat of going to court. You get the vague threats of action because your ex knows well it works to turn your knobs and raise your anxiety, all without having to spend a dime or be in front of a judge. Your ex has only the power over you that you grant to your ex. Truthfully, your issue seems more one for working through with counseling than with a trip to the courtroom.
Answered on Nov 20th, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Bruce Provda
If you want full custody then you petition for it. Then his threats will be useless.
Answered on Nov 20th, 2013 at 8:11 PM