QUESTION
What can I do if my ex wants my daughter to stay with him during our divorce?
Asked on Sep 26th, 2011 on Child Custody - New Jersey
More details to this question:
I am currently separated and will soon be filing for divorce. My ex wants our 9 month old daughter to come and stay the night with him. He has never had her on his own and is sleeping on the floor at a friend's apartment. Do I have any right to say no? I feel she is too young to be away from me.
15 ANSWERS
If you are not nursing then she needs time to bond with her father too.
Answered on Jun 24th, 2013 at 12:27 AM
You do have the right to say no. The court will order you both to go through mediation to discuss how/when placement will happen and when/if that can become overnights.
Answered on Sep 28th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Family Law Attorney serving Pasadena, CA
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Law Offices of Paul P. Cheng
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Sounds like you need to start the divorce process soon & perhaps hire a knowledgable attorney.
Answered on Sep 28th, 2011 at 6:07 AM
Sure. Until such time as the court enters and order or parenting plan, you can say "no" to your spouse having the child overnight. Further, if your spouse has no residence of his own, you have a good excuse for saying no. Once the case is filed, you will need to either enter an agreed temporary parenting plan, or set up a hearing for a temporary parenting plan. Given the young age of the child and the minimal child care experience of your spouse, the court will likely adopt a phase in parenting plan. This would be a plan that allows your spouse some amount of day time visitation that increases as the case goes along. The court will likely not authorize over nights until your spouse has his own residence and has been exercising daytime visitation for while.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 8:48 PM
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A parent requesting physical custody should have an adequate space for a small child; if she is 9 mos. old, she should have a crib or baby bed to sleep in. You need to file for your divorce or at least for custody to clarify the relationships between the parties and a proper visitation schedule, and the court can make its requirements known. There are many issues that arise when very young children are at issue-are you still breastfeeding, for example? Proper custodial time will include all of the factors that should be considered.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 7:34 PM
Criminal Defense Attorney serving Pittsburgh, PA
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Law Office of Jeffrey L. Pollock
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You have a right to say "No" but you have a duty to encourage a good relationship between the child and her father. File for primary custody and facilitate the father's getting to be good enough that you will feel that your child is safe with him.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 5:18 PM
Cohabitation Agreements Attorney serving Cincinnati, OH
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Cathy R. Cook, Attorney at Law
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Until a court orders otherwise, you each have equal rights to the child. So he does not have to ask you. You can say no but you need to give him good reasons dealing with the child's interests not your own. If you want to assure he does not just keep her, you need to file for divorce and obtain temporary orders on custody and parenting time.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 5:00 PM
Civil Attorney serving Spokane, WA
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Glenn E. Tanner, Attorney at Law
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Until a court order says otherwise, he has the same rights to yur daughter as you do. File, move the court for temporary orders that limit his time until he's ready for overnights.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Patricia C. Van Haren
You may file a divorce and request that you have primary custody of your daughter. The court will likely require that he has a place for your daughter to sleep prior to allowing overnights. Until there are orders you do not need to send your daughter with your husband overnight. Any decisions you make now may establish the status quo for purposes of divorce. You should contact a family law attorney to discuss your individual situation.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 12:00 PM
Glen Edward Ashman
Instead of staying in limbo, where there are no rules, and no way to answer your question, get counsel and file now. Note that your denial of visitation may affect you getting custody later so instead of winging it, get counsel soon to actually address the issue.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 11:29 AM
General Civil Trial Practice Attorney serving Beaverton, OR
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Vincent J. Bernabei, LLC
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You should definitely say No to that. If he wants to see the baby, it should be in frequent but brief 2 hour visits for now.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 11:06 AM
Medical Malpractice Attorney serving Clermont, FL
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Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A.
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If you deny him time, which would include overnights, you could jeopardize your chances of the child residing predominately with you, so it is not advised unless you have really good cause such as that he might harm or neglect the child. You should consult with an attorney before making decisions that could effect the rest of you and your child's lives.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 10:14 AM
Probate Law Attorney serving Colorado Springs, CO
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John E. Kirchner
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Since there is no current court order establishing specific parenting time rights you are legally in a position to say no based upon your belief that that will not be in the child's best interest. That does not, however, automatically mean that you are right to deny him the visit. Her young age is not, by itself, enough reason to deny any overnight to father. Plenty of fathers have competently cared for infants much younger for extended periods of time, so you have to base your decision on whether the father has sufficient experience and ability to care for the child under the circumstances - not just the fact of her age.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 10:14 AM
Alternative Dispute Resolution Attorney serving Ventura, CA
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Zahn Law Office
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Until the court makes a formal order, you don't have to agree to any visitation at all, however I would suggest attempting to come to an agreement that you feel comfortable to ensure that both parties see the child.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 9:41 AM
Gary Moore
There is nothing to worry about. No Family Court judge will grant him more than visits at your residence, initially. He will not get an overnight visit until the child is older.
Answered on Sep 27th, 2011 at 9:40 AM