QUESTION
What can I do if my son's dad wants to leave me, but is threatening to take my son?
Asked on Oct 12th, 2011 on Child Custody - Minnesota
More details to this question:
My son's dad has decided that he doesn't want to be with me. We live with his family. He said that he wants to get his own place and that I have to stay with his family or else. He has said before that if I ever left that he would kill me and my whole family. I am afraid to leave and him do something or say that I kidnapped my son. We are not married. I was just wondering if I could leave and take my kid legally. And if so how I would do that? Because if I did try to leave, him and his family would probably freak out on me and do something awful to me.
11 ANSWERS
It seems to me you have two distinct separate problems, a legal problem and a practical problem. Legally, you and the father have equal rights to the child, You can ask the Family Court for custody and the court will decide custody, visitation and child support based upon the best interests of the child and upon the income the non-custodiual party has. I understand that this is easy for me to say, and hard for you to do, which is why I say you have a practical problem. Practically, it appears that you are afraid to leave because of threats against you and fear of losing your child. If so, you may need to seek shelter for your self and the child from a Safe Haven type organization. You can also get an Order of Protection from the Family Court against the Father. You can ask for this information at the Family Court located at Pecos and Boannza; they have a Self Help Center there and they can give you the forms and tell you what you need to do.
Answered on Oct 18th, 2011 at 11:18 PM
You should seek help from the local women's shelter and they can perhaps help you with how to leave and maybe obtaining a restraining order. If there is not a shelter in your area, check to see which county nearest to you that has one. Also, since you were never married, you DO have the legal right to move with your child (you have sole custody right now), until there was any type of court orders made by him filing a paternity action to obtain some legal rights.
Answered on Oct 17th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Family Law Attorney serving Pasadena, CA
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Law Offices of Paul P. Cheng
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You should file a paternity case.
Answered on Oct 15th, 2011 at 2:31 AM
Bankruptcy & Debt Attorney serving San Diego, CA
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Jackie Robert Geller Attorney at Law
See an attorney immediately. And call the police.
Answered on Oct 14th, 2011 at 3:02 PM
If he is threatening to kill you and your family, then, I think the first thing to do would be to go to court to get a protection order. You should ask that the order includes your son. Second, since you state that the two of you were never married, the next step is to deal with the paternity issues. How complex that will be will depend on what has already been done. If the alleged father filed a paternity action with the state, then, the issue of paternity may already be settled, and the only issues to deal with in court will be child support and the parenting plan. If paternity issues have not been settled via the declaration process, then, the case In court will need to include a request that the court determine paternity as well.
Answered on Oct 14th, 2011 at 12:35 PM
Mediation Attorney serving Bloomfield, NJ
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Cassandra T. Savoy, PC
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You are an adult. I am loss as to how your husband, or your father for that matter, can MAKE you live someplace you would rather not live. Each parent has equal rights to their children. The court makes custody decisions based on the best interest of the children. You need to stop cowing to your spouse's demands, and find a lawyer to assert your rights.
Answered on Oct 14th, 2011 at 10:36 AM
Divorce Attorney serving Little Rock, AR
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Law Office of Kathryn L. Hudson
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In Arkansas an unwed mother is deemed to have sole custody of her child, if the father wants legal rights he must file a petition of paternity and custody in court and unless you can be proven an unfit parent he will have a hard time getting custody even then. If you are in an abusive situation and feel trapped call the Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence. They can help you get away with your son and into a shelter until you can get on your feet.
Answered on Oct 13th, 2011 at 10:40 PM
Probate Law Attorney serving Colorado Springs, CO
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John E. Kirchner
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If there has never been any kind of court order establishing paternity and granting the father any specific rights, he has no legal justification for the conduct you describe. However, if you do not begin a court case to establish those rights you will never have any peace of mind and will be subject to the threats and intimidation you describe.
Answered on Oct 13th, 2011 at 10:16 PM
Civil Attorney serving Spokane, WA
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Glenn E. Tanner, Attorney at Law
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Go to court. Talk to the domestic violence advocates. file a parentage action, seek emergency ex parte orders putting the kid with you and him away from you. Ask for temporary orders doing the same.
Answered on Oct 13th, 2011 at 9:33 PM
Medical Malpractice Attorney serving Clermont, FL
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Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A.
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You have primary custodial care of your son until a judge says otherwise. So, yes, you can leave. And if his family threatens you or your child, then you can obtain a restraining order against them that would prohibit them from coming near you, your son, or contacting you in any way. Do you have any family that can help you? Or any family members that you can move in with temporarily? That may be the way to go. I would suggest you consult with an experienced family law attorney prior to making any decisions though.
Answered on Oct 13th, 2011 at 9:25 PM
Criminal Defense Attorney serving Monticello, MN
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Smith, Paulson, O'Donnell & Erickson, PLC
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You need to contact a battered women's shelter or make an appointment to speak with an attorney. This situation cannot really be handled effectively on the internet. When a child is born out of wedlock in Minnesota, the mother is presumed to have sole physical and sole legal custody of the child. Accordingly, under the facts you have provided I fail to see how you could "kidnap" your son if you left with him to go to a battered women's shelter.
Answered on Oct 13th, 2011 at 8:39 PM