What to expect when going thru a divorce

It is very hard to answer that question without knowing the details, but in general terms the Judge is to determine what "marital assets and liabilities exist" and to equitably divide them.  There can be issues of support alimony or other factors considered, but if both of you work and can be self sufficient, division of property and allocation of debts is the big question. It is often possible to obtain a FREE initial consultation with a lawyer in or near the county where the divorce would be filed.  Under NO circumstance should a person try to do this without legal advice.  If you want to reach agreements to avoid the need for a lengthy and drawnout process, you first need to know the probable out some if tried so you can then make decisions to cut to the chase. Use of mediation is an excellent option, but there too it is important to have legal advice so your agreements are based on reality and set out in a way to protect you legally from risks that the other party may discharge their obligations to pay marital debts (thus leaving you on the hook), and other issues. Call an attorney.  The Family Law section of the State Bar has always suggested that obtaining at least some psychological counseling is a good idea to address grief and other emotions to be able to make more sound decisions while saving on attorney fees and avoiding costly mistakes.