when can I start counting separation from husband

When you physically separated from your spouse with the intention that the separation would be permanent you become legally separated for purposes of seekig a divorce in Virginia.  You do not have to do anything to formalize it, although many people enter into Separation and Property Settlement Agreements.  You would need a written agreement like that if you have no kids and want to get divorced after only a six month separation.  Otherwise, if you have no written agreement or if you have kids you have to wait a full year of being separated in order to file a no-fault divorce.  You can file sooner if you have fault grounds, such as adultery, cruelty, or desertion, but these typically do not get you divorced any faster, as you must then go through the contested litigation process and have a full trial to prove your grounds. Aftere your separation period you can file for divorce and at your final hearing, which can usually be done by deposition or affidavit these days, you will testify under oath about the date of your separation.  You will need a witness who can verify the date of separation.  So in terms of what you can do now to document your separation, the best thing you can do is think about who your witness will be and make sure they are familiar with your living situation, so that they can personally observe that you are not living with your spouse. In the meantime you can try to negotiate any financial issues, but you can't force the other side to settle.  If you need monetary support you can file for that in the Juvenile & Domestic Relations District Court at any time following separation, without having to have grounds for divorce.  If you have children, yuo can also file for custody, visitation, or child support in the JDR Court.  Any property issues that can't be worked out will have to be decided in the divorce court (Circuit Court).