Can i legally consume alcohol if i am underage but my spouse is over 21?

No.  Your wife's age is irrelevant to your legal right to consume alcohol.  In fact, your wife could be criminally liable if she serves you alcohol, or orders alcohol for you knowing that you are not of legal age, or assists you in deceiving someone else to serve you alcohol.   UPDATE - It has been pointed out to me that I was wrong about Virginia law, at least in part.  A gentleman from VA (not sure if he'd want me to use his name, but he deserves credit) has referred me to a VA statute which apparently provides that "[a]ny person who keeps and possesses lawfully acquired alcoholic beverages in his residence for his personal use or that of his family. However, such alcoholic beverages may be served or given to guests in such residence by such person, his family or servants when (i) such guests are ... accompanied by a parent, guardian, or spouse who is 21 years of age or older, (ii) the consumption or possession of such alcoholic beverages by family members or such guests occurs only in such residence where the alcoholic beverages are allowed to be served or given pursuant to this subdivision ... ."   Thus, it appears that, in VA at least, you can drink alcohol in your home with your spouse as long as the other provisions of the statute are met, most relevant that the alcohol was "lawfully acquired" (thus it must have been purchased by someone over 21).  However, you can't consume alcohol at a bar or restaurant.  I apologize for my mistake.