How can we cancel K-1 application when petitioner refuses?

My current fiance in Manila broke off engagement to someone 9 months ago due to him cheating. Unfortunately, his K-1 on her continued in the system. When she was invited for an interview, she advised the embassy that she wanted this dropped from the system, so I could file K-1 on her. They told her she needed to contact the ex and get him to drop this, since it could only be cancelled by him. She did this and he remained angry, writing her that he would only cancel if she paid in $10,000 for all his previous travel to Manila. This seems like blackmail and hard to believe that the beneficiary is kept this powerless in the process. How long will this stay in the system before we can file? I read a response to similar question here, where attorney advised them to proceed with K-1 and simply explain the circumstances around the previous k-1. However I read a case where someone did this, and officer refused to hear the case, advising that there were two K-1's pending and all needed to be sent back and cancelled. Are there any options other than waiting for a year or more until the previous K-1 is dropped from the system?