"So if my employer tells me to "Put my big girl pants on and go do my job", I report the manager to HR, and subsequently lose my job 3 months later while out on FMLA, is that retaliation, wrongful termination, and a violation of my Civil Rights?"
Wrongful termination in this state must be based on unlawful discrimination or unlawful retaliation. Unlawful retaliation occurs when the employee has engaged in a protected activity and then is terminated due to the protected activity. Complaints to HR are generally not protected. Complaints to HR can be protected if they specifically complaint about certain action such as unlawful discrimination. I do not see how that comment alone would be protected activity. If there was more to the complaint, then it might be possible.
It is not unlawful for the employer to terminate you while you are on FMLA if the termination has nothing to do with your FMLA. Even so, my suspicions are always raised when an employee who is on FMLA is terminated.
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