If I contest a divorce will I be allow to explain my situation or will it be considered a default?

If I do not agree with terms of a divorce and go to court without a lawyer due to finances, will a judge allow me to explain my situation? Or would that be considered a default and my wife get the children regardless, any suggestion on representing myself in court? I’m weary of fathers rights advocacy groups as it seems they can do very little, and I do not trust these low fee lawyers and their websites because they've told me they just prepare the paperwork and as far as court goes I'd be on my own. I do not live in the State where the divorce will take place which is N.J. so I can't receive legal aid, I’m in Chicago and was granted legal aid here but they can't help because my wife and kids reside in N.J. and Illinois does not have jurisdiction over them. Would it be better to go to court without a lawyer so the courts will at least know that I’m showing concern and I’m wanting to explain or will that really not matter either way? My wife will meet her one year residency requirement next week and will be filing from N.J. Anyone know a good family lawyer in Passaic County that would honor a payment plan for legal fees?