what is considered unwanted sex

No one can specifically answer your question on what "unwanted sex" means. I think the real key to your question is whether or not you forced your spouse, without their consent to have sex with you and which act or aggression may have resulted in your spouse receiving some type of physical injury. If you pinned your spouse down and held your hands against their wrist and forced them to have sex with you, that would be considered "unwanted sex."  The fact that it may have been a Saturday night and you had a bit too much to drink and wanted to have sex with your spouse, and they really didn't want to, but you begged and cajoled them until they finally gave in, may be "unwanted sex," but doesn't rise to the level of domestic violence suitable for the court to enter a domestic abuse violence restraining order.