How can I stop an ex-girlfriend from telling people I have herpes?

Question

I have an ex girlfriend who tells people I know that I have Herpes. The other night I was on a first date with an awesome woman, and my ex happened to be at the same restaurant. She gave my date her card, which said on the back "be careful, he has herpes". I have not heard from the girl since. I am a professional person with a great career. I do not need this getting out. Don’t I have rights against this type of slander? Thanks!

Jeffrey Lapin · Answer

You should, in writing, ask your ex-girlfriend to stop telling people you have herpes. This is a possible necessary step in a case against her.  You mention "slander" in the additional information you provided. Slander is "oral" defamation while libel is "written" defamation. You do not indicate whether you do in fact have herpes. If you do, you do not have a defamation case as "truth" is a defense to defamation.  Even if you do have herpes, you might also have breach of privacy claim under Nebraska law for either "trespassing or intruding upon a person's solitude" or "placing a person before the public in a false light." Finally, you might have a claim for either "intentional infliction of emotional distress" or "negligent infliction of emotional distress."  I would suggest talking to an attorney to discuss your rights and options.

Gary Platt · Answer

You clearly have rights.  If someone communicates a slanderous  statement  to another about you, you can recover damages from her.  If the  slanderous  statement involves alleging that you have a communicable disease,  your  damages are presumed, and thus easier to prove in court.  You can file  a lawsuit  against her.

Keven A. McKenna · Answer

You can sue her for defamation. But that victory is not a guarantee that she will stop.

John Brennan · Answer

Its not slander if it is the truth.

Britany Engelman · Answer

You may have a strong case for defamation (slander). However, in order to prevail on a case for defamation, the statement must be false. Therefore, if you really do have herpes, your girlfriend telling other women that you have herpes would not be defamation/slander.

Melvin Franke · Answer

Only if you have pecuniary damages

James Osak · Answer

File a PPO on her. Have her tell the judge why she is doing this.

David Hibbert · Answer

Accusations of criminal activity or venereal disease are actionable under defamation laws. In Georgia there is a one year statute of limitations for such actions. Truth is a defense. See a lawyer familiar with such matters.

Irving Blank · Answer

You have a case for defamation.  The problem is whether she has assets that will enable you to collect any judgment that you obtain.  You might consider paying a lawyer an hourly rate to bring a case in General District Court just to stop her.

Scott Behren · Answer

You can sue her for defamation and slander and seek an injunction to prevent her from doing these things further.

Thomas Bulman · Answer

Why does she allege you have herpes?  Does she have herpes?  Can you prove or are you willing to be tested by your doctor to prove you are negative for genital herpes?   Oral herpes(cold sores on the mouth) is very prevalent in our population so if she has oral herpes on her genitals, then she might be okay with warning women.

Ronald A. Steinberg · Answer

Send her a.certified letter demanding that she cease and desist, and then sue.

Bradley Cornett · Answer

In your question you state, I do not need this getting out. Conversely, you do not say that you do not have herpes.  I conclude, therefore, that you do have herpes. In Alabama, truth is an absolute defense to a slander claim. In other words, it is not slander if it is true. If you do not have herpes, you could file a lawsuit seeking an injunction against your ex-girlfriend continuing to slander you.

Steven Fairlie · Answer

You can sue her if you don't have herpes.  If you do then truth is a defense and her statement was not slander - she actually helped a woman to avoid being infected and there is nothing wrong with that.

Timothy Klisz · Answer

It's only slander if it's untrue. If true, there are other causes of action, but she would need to be collectible. Even a cease and desist letter might be helpful.

Gregory Crain · Answer

You can't.

Bernard Huff · Answer

You should consult with a lawyer who handles defamation (libel and slander)  cases for specific legal advice. The truth is a legal defense in defamation  lawsuits.

Dennis P. Mikko · Answer

If your ex-girlfriend is telling the truth, there is little you can do about it.  On the other hand, if what she is saying is a lie, it is slander and she could be liable.  Since telling someone you have herpes when it is not true is telling a lie about a loathsome disease, it is slander per se.  In other words, you would not have to prove damages in order to recover.  Damages are assumed in a case of slander per se.  You may want to speak with an attorney who could write your ex-girlfriend a letter telling her to stop spreading lies or you will take legal action.

Andrew Velonis · Answer

It is not clear from the question whether you do have herpes or not.  That makes all the difference.  If you do, then she's telling the truth and she can communicate with anyone she wants.  But if it is not true, then yes it is slander and you have a cause of action against her.  If you have the necessary evidence, you can get a court order directing her to stop.  If she doesn't that's contempt of court.

Richard Rice · Answer

File for a restraining order/injunction with your local circuit (county) court.  Good luck.

James Kelaher · Answer

It's not slander if it's the truth.

Kevin Habberfield · Answer

Yes you do. Go see an attorney.  Good luck.

Jason P. Kutulakis · Answer

Perhaps! Truth is a defense. If you in fact have a STD, then it is not defamatory. If it is false, then yes you do have a case and should consult with and retain an attorney.

Paul Whitfield · Answer

You can sue for slander (6 months statute of limitation) or libel if in writing

Mark Smith · Answer

First of all truth is not slander. If you have herpes and you transfer it   to someone else you are susceptible to a law suit so be careful what you do.   That being said, you need to obtain a restraining order against your ex.  This of  course would be in a court of public record and open to the public.  Not an easy  situation.

Stephen Lombardi · Answer

You will need to  hire a lawyer and sue her asking for a restraining order.

Michael Yeksavich · Answer

You can sue for slander but what are your money damages?  You could also seek an  injunction.

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