am named as contingent beneficiary and my step mom is executor. she wants me to sign a waiver of notice ? what does that mean for me?

It means two things.  First, you agree that you do not need to know the date of the hearing and be present.  Second, it means that you agree that your stepmother should be able to administer your father's estate free of court supervision.  This means that she does need to submit an inventory but does not need the court's permission to sell, for example, your father's car and does not need to provide an accounting to the court.  A beneficiary may nonetheless request an accountign 15 months after the executor is appointed. Are you sure that a Will is being probated?  Ordinarily, beneficiaries are notified after, not before, a Will is admitted to probate.  In an intestacy, heirs are asked to sign a distributee's waiver of notice and consent to application for independent administration before the hearing.