Are the mother and father equal regarding wishes toward their child’s inherited trust?

My Grandfather left his estate to be sold and split between my children (for whatever reason it was concidered easier to not leave any directly to me. It was my Grandparents understanding if I needed anything all I needed to do was ask. So dividing it farther was not nessary.. ). We are over crowded and would like to purchase a home jointly from the kids trust as a asset, to live in. I understand I need approval from their trustee. However, 2 of my 4 our from my first marriage. Their Dad is against me with a passion at every turn. Is it possible for the 4 children split the home cost ? Would their Dad’s have any rights to the home ? Do the Dad’s have any rights to being informed of the children’s trust Income if any? And spending of the trust if any?