my 92 yo mother in law with a terminal dx on hospice care gave a friend 35k, with a letter as to how it is to be divided, it was written by the friend

Judie - without a good deal more information I would not hazard a guess about the validity of the gift. Neither will a court. Perhaps the friend is taking advantage. But perhaps your mother-in-law is very grateful for some assistance by her friend of which you are not aware.  Please understand a few things: • A diagnosis of a terminal illness does not mean that someone is incompetent;• Advanced old age does not equal incompetence or loss of the right to make choices;• Your mother-in-law’s stuff is hers to do with as she pleases during her lifetime; If you have reason to believe that your mother-in-law is being financially mistreated, you should report it to Adult Protective Services (APS). Most states have mandatory reporting requirements regarding the abuse, neglect and exploitation of elders and people who are disabled. You can make your report anonymously and the specially trained APS investigators will conduct a confidential and objective examination of the evidence. If they find evidence of wrong doing they will proceed with criminal charges. If they do not find such evidence, they will notify you, as the complainant, of their findings. The APS investigators usually fall under the authority of each state’s agency for human services and have toll-free numbers. The information for Virginia is: 1-888-83-ADULT  or 1-888-832-3858  for Virginia Adult Protective Services Other state elder abuse hotline numbers can be found here: http://www.nccafv.org/state_elder_abuse_hotlines.htm If you believe she is incompetent, your mother in law would need an elder law attorney. You should always hire the most experienced estate lawyer you can afford to protect the financial interests of your family. However, with your status as an in-law, it is unlikely that you have any financial interest personally unless she is already deceased and has named you in her Will. To Your Success, Gale Allison, Principal AttorneyAllison Firm, PLLChttp://www.theallisonfirm.comhttp://www.linkedin.com/in/galeallison.com