QUESTION
What should I do to get my mother from my sister?
Asked on Oct 22nd, 2012 on Estate Planning - Michigan
More details to this question:
My sister has not lived in California for 25 years. The last seven years she was in Singapore. She is very well off financially. She lives with her husband who is an attorney. She arranged for ex-attorney to originate POA/ Trustee of our elderly parents on the internet and phone, so when she arrived the paper work was already started. I was told that she would have to be a California residence in order to hold the position of Trustee / POA’s. There were multiple POA's and authority to access all theirs funds (400K) and place into a trust in their name and also Grant Deed their home in her name. I agreed because I was told that the ex- attorney who my sister hired to prepare the Medical paper work would not process the work required if I was on the home title or on the POA’s with my sister. I do not have any liens or collection, just no money at the time. In order to help my father get medical benefits I stepped aside. By the way, it’s been a year and they never did apply for benefits I think. I stopped the signing of the paper work because I wanted to be there and review what was being signed but they went around me and rescheduled the signing. I received on copy of a POA for health, which I cannot use to review my parent health because Kaiser has their own form, which I'm not on. I have no idea what else was signed. My father just passed away and my mother is in my sister’s care. I have to made appointment to see her and if I want to take her out my sister would need to go with me. Mother has a memory issue but wants to be with me.
3 ANSWERS
Probate Attorney serving Newport, OR
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Minor, Bandonis & Haggerty P.C.
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The proper question is, "is Mom getting the right care?" It doesn't matter who's in charge, what matters is getting the best care in the proper setting for your Mom. If your sister is misappropriating money, or if she is not arranging for the best available care for your mother, sue her. Otherwise, do your best to be there for your Mom, and don't let your unhappiness with your sister color your Mom's last years. Personal answer, not really a legal one, but as an elder lawyer I see too many families busting up without ever really understanding that it is only personal issues they're fighting over, not legal ones.
Answered on Oct 25th, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Trusts Attorney serving Sacramento, CA
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Law Office of Victor Waid
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May I suggest that you get yourself and your mother legal representation to unwrap this ball of issues. Your mother particularly needs her own independent counsel, even if you have to pay for her. What I am not clear on is the Medical benefits; is this medical benefits, or California Medical benefits? If Medical benefits, you best be careful to report all of your mother's assets or you may face a claim for fraud for failing to report on her application for Medical. By the way, the Advance Healthcare Directive signed by your mother after Kaiser signed form, should have revoked all prior health care directive. You need to look into that further. As to your mother leaving the country of your sister, you will have to negotiate with your sister.
Answered on Oct 25th, 2012 at 7:18 PM
Business Planning Attorney serving Livonia, MI
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Frederick & Frederick Attorneys at Law
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You have a mess on your hands. It is hard to know even where to begin. Because this is your sister we are talking about, and you want to keep a relationship with her, even after your mother passes, I would try to speak with her and share your concerns. It will need to be a delicate conversation, but I would simply ask that you be kept in the loop. There are some red flags, here, but things could be completely legitimate, as well. If you assume your sister is trying to steal from your mother and/or you, then your attitude may show this and your sister will resent it. Your joint goal is to take care of your mom and make sure that everything goes smoothly for her. As far as what was set up before, you are probably not entitled to a copy. It is best if there is open communication and people are aware of what is set up. But many people do not share this information, ahead of time.
Answered on Oct 25th, 2012 at 5:52 PM