Can a judge grant rights for my fathers ashes to be released to some one other than myself, being next of kin, with out informing me of a hearing?

My father passed away last summer and things got ugly between me and his ex wife and other side of the family, because i am next of kin and in charge of the estate. The ex wife claims she was common law amrried to him even though they were divorced and lived seperatly and had new relationships. she wants everything he has,but since I am fighting to remain in charge of his estate I want every thing he has divided evenly between myself and his other daughter. Since the ex wife claims she is common law married, she threw a fit at the funeral home and now they can''t relase his ashes until their are supporting court documents. Is it possible for a judge to sign of on her receiving the ashes with informing me of the motions filed or a hearing? I was told by a family member that a judge agreed to that and she now has his ashes.