My mother is becoming more and more I'll from cancer she is around stage 3 of small cell lung cancer. And her decision making skills are getting worse

Hi - This is a difficult situation.  She is the one that needs to execute a power of attorney or a Will, so, if she is unwilling to do so, you are at a stalemate.  You could try to get others, such as trusted friends, a bank teller or someone she might know, to recommend it.  You could try online sites, like www.nolo.com, that provide forms so that she would not have to meet with a lawyer.  Also, for mother's, you could talk to her about how this is worrying you.  Mothers often want to take care of their children even while they are unwilling to do things for themselves. Short of those options, I would see about getting check writing privileges for her accounts so that you can pay her bills if needed, being authorized to talk to different businesses she deals with (cable company, utiliities, etc.) by getting added to her accouts by whatever process they require.  She may be willing to add you as a joint owner of her property, so that you will inherit it automatically upon her death without need of probate.  Or she could execute pay-on-death designations for her bank and any investment accounts, which again would result in your receiving those funds without probate process.   I wish you luck.