It seems clear that you are asking because either you are afraid to deal directly with your daughter and her creditors, or you are worried about having enough money to pay the legal fees involved. The more you delay the more money and time you are wasting.
Get a lawyer. You specifically need a probate lawyer to help you through this process. Do not attempt it by yourself. You are allowing your daughter to rip you off. You have several decisions to make and the lawyer can explain your options. For example:
1. With regard to the land that is titled in your husband's and sons names, unless your sons are minor children, it is up to them to handle. It is not your property and not your problem.
2. You might be surprised to know that an option could be to discuss foreclosing on your daughter for the default on her mortgage and teaching her an important life lesson. However, this is not clear to me: Was the debt she has with your husband legally handled so that you have a mortgage to foreclose?
3. Finally, about the car your husband co-signed for your daughter to purchase -- your lawyer can explain whether you have any responsibility, depending on how it is titled. I suspect you are not on the title and if she continues to be in default, very soon the car company or bank will repossess the car and you won't have to worry about it. It will be another hard but important lesson for her to learn.
You must decide if you are going to let your daughter continue to take advantage of you. If that is preferable to hiring lawyer to make her pay you back, then you will just be out that money. Only you can decide, but a good Tennessee probate lawyer can help you assert yourself.
To Your Success,
Gale Allison, Principal Attorney
Allison Firm, PLLC
http://www.theallisonfirm.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/galeallison.com
Answered on Jun 18th, 2012 at 1:36 PM