What if my step mom is not going through probate with my dads stuff and he had no will. How will we know of our rights as his daughters

If she doesn't go through probate, then by definition she has not been appointed as the administrator of your dad's estate. Only the probate court can appoint an administrator. If she is doing things that she legally needs to be appointed administrator to do, then she is in violation of state law, and you can have the probate court force her to account for her actions. There is another possibility, however: that most of your dad's assets passed at his death in a way that means no administrator is needed, because they didn't become part of his probate estate, and that the rest of the assets are things like personal possessions that don't require a formal title change or a car, where there is an exception if there won't be a probate estate opened. If your dad and "she" owned most assets in a particular form of joint ownership, called "joint tenants," then all of those assets would have passed to her, as the surviving joint owner, immediately at your dad's death. Neither you nor any other heir to the estate would have any right to those assets. In addition, assets that your dad may have owned in his own name, like an IRA or a life insurance policy, or even bank and brokerage accounts other than IRAs, may have passed to her under a beneficiary designation. In that case again, the estate and his other heirs would have no interest in those assets and no probate would be needed for her to deal with those. If you think that there may be something going on that is incorrect, you can petition the probate court to be appointed as administrator yourself. You can also petition to have her called to account for any probate assets that there may be. But it is possible that there may not be a lot of probate assets. Unfortunately, it's not always possible to tell before you open the estate. If you decide to proceed with anything, you really should hire an attorney. It costs money, but it can also save a lot of extra expense and problems that you might run into if you try to do it without an attorney.