Washington Divorce Legal Questions

Where is the nexus of the marriage, in other words where is your house. If it is in Canada, the rules are different. Here the business assets are community, you could do what you did. But why are not doing this through a court action. If your marriage is in Canada where you would have to file the dissolution, I am not sure of the right answer.... Read Answer

Thank you for such a good question and for giving such detailed, heartfelt background information. Your situation is not unique, unfortunately. You are wise to worry about whether leaving the marital home prior to filing for divorce can cast you in a bad light. Many spouses try to depict the other spouse moving out as an act of abandonment or betrayal or as proof that the relocating spouse doesn't love her children, etc. Although most people would find it perfectly understandable why you moved out (i.e., the unbearable stress, the mind games, spousal and/or child abuse, substance abuse, etc.), sometimes people have a spouse who is so charming and so smooth that he or she can make your legitimate reasons for moving out appear false and can make your moving out look as though your reasons were malicious and selfish. In Utah, moving out shortly before filing for divorce usually does you no harm and has a very low risk of harming you. But as you noted, there's always a risk that you're moving out will be painted as something other than it is. Sometimes, however, regardless of how it may look to outsiders, you may find yourself needing to move out for the sake of protecting your safety or even your very life. In situations where your safety or life is threatened if you stay in the marital home, you move out and live to fight another day and deal with the adverse consequences of moving out later. Where you have the luxury of a little time to plan, then generally best practice is to file for divorce and then move out (you don't have to tell your husband that you filed for divorce when you move out). Seeking a divorce necessitates living separately, so moving out after you have filed for divorce cannot be looked upon as spousal abandonment. Yes, your spouse might still think you're moving out as abandoning the children, so even if you move out after filing for divorce, make sure you document clearly the reasons why you moved out and clearly document that your moving out was intended to do as little harm to your spouse and children as possible. After you are safely moved out, send your spouse an e-mail or a certified letter (and keep a copy of that for your records) that notifies him that 1) you have filed for divorce and it separated for that purpose; and 2) that you are not abandoning your obligations to the family and to the children.... Read Answer