New Jersey Child Custody Legal Questions

If there is a court order in New Jersey governing visitation or parenting time, both parties are legally obligated to follow its terms—even if one believes the other is acting improperly. Unilaterally denying visitation or communication in violation of a court order can potentially result in contempt proceedings or negatively impact your own custodial rights. That said, if you have a good faith belief that your child's safety is at risk due to unauthorized individuals being present during visits (especially where there has been deception and an instruction to your child to "keep secrets"), you may be justified in seeking a modification of the existing order. However, this must be done through the court, not by self-help. You should strongly consider consulting with a New Jersey family law attorney to review your specific order and discuss your legal options, which may include filing an emergency application or motion to modify or suspend visitation. While I am an appellate lawyer in Maryland, I often advise clients that taking the proper procedural steps through court is the best way to protect both your rights and your credibility before the judge.... Read More

Thank you for your question. I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this.  To appropriately evaluate your matter and provide guidance, more information is needed, such as the age of the child, what the parenting time arrangements have been thus far and whether there has been court involvement and a court order.  Generally speaking, if there is a significant and substantiated concern about the safety and well-being of a child, the court will take all necessary precautions to ensure that the child is safe during parenting time.  I highly recommend that you schedule a strategy session with an experienced family law attorney who can gather more information and provide guidance to you based upon the specific details of your matter.  ... Read More

Thank you for your question. I’m sure this is a very stressful situation for you. To protect yourself you absolutely want this change to go through the courts. If you don’t, she could claim at any time that you took the child and are keeping him, in violation of a court order. You should consult with an experienced family law attorney who can give you advice tailored to your unique situation.  The attorney would most likely recommend drafting a proposed Consent Order delineating the new terms of your custody agreement. Once both parties sign same, it would be filed with the Court, and the Judge would sign it, making it a Court order. The opposing party may not want to go through the process of filing an application to make the change. However, if you agree to the terms in a Consent Order, nothing else needs to be filed and no court appearance is necessary. The key is to have experienced legal counsel draft the Consent Order to make sure the interests of both parties are protected.  ... Read More

 Im not sure what "discovery" papers you sent to your ex’s lawyer or why you sent discovery material to the lawyer but if it’s a custody matter, I am going to suggest that you are in over your head, and you are not helping yourself by attempting to represent yourself. I know that you are in over your head because you said that you sent him discovery materials and the summons required a response in 30 days. There is no summons associated with the submission of discovery material, so I am going to presume that you sent the lawyer your discovery responses required by court order for the exchange of discovery material, and he has not provided you with his discovery responses.  Presuming that my understanding of the current status of your matter is correct, then an order is in place setting deadlines for the exchange of discovery requests and the dates that each side is to send their discovery responses. If the other side failed to provide materials responsive to your discovery requests, then you need to send him a letter/email confirming his non-compliance and thereafter you need to file an application with the court for sanctions for your ex's non-compliance and you need to detail what you want the court to require ( turn over responsive answers to your interrogatory requests by XXX). You and your ex also need to have an order in place for the dates for the selection of custody experts and the dates for completion of their expert reports and dates for completion of any other discovery materials needed by either side. The information above is simply the 1st step in the process of addressing a legitimate custody dispute setting. A judge does not calendar your discovery deadlines or compliance - that is your responsibility. If the other side does not comply, then you need to file the application with the court seeking sanctions for noncompliance.   ... Read More

You DONT have a "joint custody" arrangement with your ex. You have a "joint legal custody" arrangement with you designated as the primary custodial parent. It may not seem like a big difference but legally, the difference should be huge. If you look at the wording of your agreement as to your custody plan, it will say say that you and he will maintain a joint legal custody plan with you designated as the primary custodial parent and then the language of your agreement should define the decision making on "major decisions" affecting your son's health, education and general welfare. Since you are the primary custodial parent, ithe language of your agreement should say that you and he shall "discuss" those type of issues and / or that he shall be "consulted" but presumably, the language of the agreement does not say that each of you shall have an equal say in the decision making process or that neither of you shall act unilaterally in the decision making or that in the event of a disagreement, you and he shall submit the issue to a mediator or to the court.   If the langauge of your agreement does say that you and he shall have equal say in the decision making process or that neither shall act unilaterally or that in the event of a disagreement on how to handle a major decision, you and he shall submit the issue to mediaton or to the court, then its a little more complicated and I would therefore send him an email or a text message laying out what you want to do and your reasoning for it. Spend time to lay out all of your reasons since you may need that email or text if you and he end up in court. That message is critical and needs to be addressed to him in complete thoughts so that if a judge is reading it, you make sense and your reasoning is logical.  If he does not respond, make sure to also print out that message so that if he later claims that he never got the message, you have proof that you sent it to him. ... Read More

Sounds like your matter already has court  orders entered out of the Virginia court system. Presuming im correct, your claim for parenting time needs to be addressed to the Virginia court system, inlcuding your claims for visitation. Under the UCCJEA ( uniform law throughout the country), presuming one party still lives in Virginia and the order for custody / parenting time was originally entered by the court in Virginia, then Virginia continues to maintain jurisdiction over the case and all claims for changes, need to be filed with the Virginia court system. ... Read More

Yes and you need to file your opposition / response to the substance of your ex's affidavit / certification with the court and your ex's lawyer by the date set forth in the cross application or the relief being sought by your ex will be viewed by the court as unopposed and the court can grant the relief sought by your ex. You do not have the right to simply expect to walk into court on the return date and tell the court why you disagree with her cross application. If you want to represent yourself in a court matter, you are bound by the court rules and the deadlines for filing purposes. Your opposition to their cross application MUST be filed with the court and the other lawyer at least 8 days prior to the court date. If the court date is next Friday, then your opposition papers to their cross application ( a certification under oath as of you were testifying on the witness stand) must be submitted to the court and to the other lawyer NO LATER THAN this Thursday. If you fail to file your opposition papers timely, presume that the other lawyer will ask the court to view their application as unopposed and ask the court to grant them the relief sought. ... Read More

You need to be careful of any form of communications with your ex if there is a restraining order in place. I understand that you and she have a child together but any contact initated by you is a violation. My suggestion is that you and she agree that texting limited only to specific communications concering your child will not be a violation of the restraining order and then you and she need to get the restraining order amended to reflect that this type of communciation is permissible. Telling a judge at a later date that you and she had a verbal agreement - is not sufficient. It must be in wriing and agreed upon by both of you. Equally important, dont, dont, and dont curse or threaten her in any text message going forward because when a judge reads it, he will have no sympathy for you and will view that type of action as a violation and look to impose sanctions on you. ... Read More

Thank you for your question.  I am unable to definitively answer your question without seeing a copy of your Judgment of Divorce or Marital Settlement Agreement.  However, as this expense was incurred due to your ex Husband traveling with your kids, it is unlikely that you would be responsible for any portion of those costs.  Best of luck to you.  ... Read More

Whether you move to a different school district inside of New Jersey or you want to move to a different state, the  focus is on your child and how that move will impact his / her relationship with the other parent. If you are moving 10 minutes away, it probably is of no signficance to the other parent but if your move is going to be 1 1/2 hours away, that may create a very different response. My suggestion is that you tell your ex where you are planning to move to so that he is aware and see if he reacts / expresses concerns and if so, try to figure out a way to work with him on a change in the parenting schedule to move it eaasier. ... Read More

Thank you for your questions. Issues of custody can be complicated and fact sensitive so they have to be addressed on a case by case basis. You would benefit from scheduling a free consult, either by telephone or video conference, with an attorney to discuss the facts of your case and your options. ... Read More

Thank you for your question. I understand how concerned you must feel. More information is needed from you to be able to properly assess your inquiry, however, given what you encountered, should you believe that your child is immediate danger, you can contact Child Protection and Permanency (DCPP) and file an emergent application for custody with the court. I would strongly suggest that you contact a family law custody attorney to be able to guide you accordingly.  ... Read More

I dont think that I am going to tell you something that you dont already know - you need to go to the court system in your country and get an order of the family court giving you authorization to leave the country with your daughter. If you dont get an order from your country's court system and you simply come to this country, the father of your child will go to the court system in Chile claiming that you kidnapped your child and took her to the United States without his permission or a court order permitting it to occur and he will ask the Chilean government to assist him under the Hague Convention for child Abduction to ask the US Government to compel the return of your child to Chile. Yes, there are specific protections given to someone fleeing another country in abuse settings, but the burden will be on you to prove them to avoid an application to the US court system to compel your child's return to Chile.  The alternative would be to contact a certified immigration lawyer in New Jersey to work with you and your new partner on getting the proper paperwork filed with the US State Department to assist in getting you and your daughter to the US. ... Read More

Thank you for your question. If your child’s father will not consent to the relocation, a formal application may be necessary.  The suspension of parenting rights by the Court may be a very important factor in your relocation request.  It could impact any opposition he may file against your request to relocate.  It is vital that you review the final restraining order and the history of your matter with an experienced family law attorney to determine the best strategies and options which are available for you to pursue your relocation with your child.   ... Read More

Under the law in New Jersey, you need an order from the court permitting you to relocate out of state with a child. If may seem like an unnecessary expense / process for you to undertake given the absence of relationship between your ex and your child but if you leave the state without a court order, you run the risk that he will file an application with the NJ court system claiming that you left the state without his knowledge and that he has tried to get in contact with your child but was unable to do so and you will then be forced to expend time and money to prove that he is not telling the truth. My advice is to do it the right way so that you dont have to worry about this type of claim in the future. ... Read More

Under both state and federal law, it is illegal for you to buy or use a vape device, regardless of your parents view. Sorry, but in this setting, I agree with the government and dont think you should be doing so. I gave the same advice to both of my sons when they were 17 and I hope that they listened. Its an unnecessary danger to your lungs. ... Read More

From a procedural standpoint, if a guy comes forward and claims that he is the child's biological father, he can file an application with the court to establish paternity and seek parenting time and or primary custody of the child ( under proper circumstances). Obviously, if he is the biological father, he will also have to pay child support for the child as well. If he currently is supporting the child but does not know that he is the biological father, at some point in the future, if he wants to file an application seeking to establish paternity, he can do so as well.... Read More

Your daughter gave her aunt temporary physical custody of her son because she was unable to properly care for him. Now, a cousin just got out of jail for attempted murder & the family of the guy he tried to kill  plans to get even with the cousin & they plan to shoot up the house that he is staying in – the aunts house, where your daughter’s son is living as well.  And your question is whether your daughter can file an emergent application seeking to temporarily revoke her consent to permit her aunt to have physical custody of her son since she is afraid that her son is in harms way staying with the aunt. I presume your daughter already spoken with her aunt about this information & suggested that the aunt temporarily live elsewhere or that the cousin  temporarily live elsewhere &  the conversation (about either option) did not go well. My sense is that if your daughter simply went to her aunt’s house to take her son back, the aunt would object & potentially call the police, saying that your daughter is not fit to care for her son and that she was given physical custody of her son and that he has been living with her for the past XXX time. Presuming that my sense of the setting is correct, your daughter can still file that emergent application with the court but the focus for the court will be on how long the child has been living with the aunt; what was the reason why your daughter gave up temporary custody in the 1st place & whether that setting has changed; where she will live with the child moving forward; whether the danger to the child is legitimate if he stays with the aunt. Also, I am sure the judge will want to know about the conversation between your daughter & her aunt & why the aunt does not see a reason to change the custodial setting for the child. Those are basic items that would need to be presented to the court as part of this application.  ... Read More

My heart goes out to you in your effort to try and help your 4-year-old niece. I am also fairly confident that your parents mean well and want to do the right thing for your niece but fail to recognize their limitations and its impact on a 4-year-old in their household. I am also fairly confident that you have spoken with your parents about their limitations and your belief that you can now provide your niece with a better home setting. If you have not done so, I think that you need to sit down with them - if for no other reason but to show your maturity and your willingness to address the issue constructively. They may not see it the same way and may not respect your efforts but you need to have that conversation before moving forward with any alternative plan. Presuming that the conversation accomplished nothing, then you need to decide if you want to speak with the state division of Child Protective Services. You can file a complaint with the DCPP and offer to take your niece in with you and provide all of the reasons why you feel that it is an unsafe/unhealthy environment for your niece and simultaneously why your home setting is more appropriate. I also presume that your parents are receiving governmental benefits for caring for your niece and may be resistant to give her up but maybe you can agree to a trial plan setting where they continue to receive those benefits for a period of time to ensure that your home setting is working. ... Read More

Most importantly, do you live in New Jersey? At the end of your question, you reference a request for child support from the biological father - which says that you already opened a child support case in the court system and have a state agency/probation seeking to recoup monies from him for your child. If you have already filed a complaint with the court system for child support or if you are receiving governmental assistance for your child and identified the biological father as the responsible party for payment purposes, simply adding your fiance to the birth certificate does not / will not resolve all of the issues. If anything, it can cause you more issues if you are receiving government benefits and previously identified the other guy for payment purposes. The simplest solution is to have the biological father sign a written certification stating that he agrees to relinquish his custodial rights to the child and effective with the entry of an order permitting your fiance to adopt the child,  he will be relieved of any legal obligation. You can also include in that certification that he agrees to cooperate with the adoption process and to sign any and all papers required of him. I have no idea why your fiance has an issue with child protective services but if he is going to be around your son on a daily basis and is a good father to him, I dont think that you should be afraid to permit a home visit as part of that adoption process. ... Read More

Thank you for your question. If you suspect child abuse it is your absolute duty to report it to the authorities without hesitation.  Your child is unable to express herself at this age and only trained professionals can make this determination.  Once you contact the DCP&P they will instruct you on how to handle future parenting time.  Obviously, pending any determination you should take it upon yourself to halt visitation. I hope this was helpful to you.  ... Read More

If I understand your question correctly, about a year ago, your dad and you sat down and agreed that it was best for him to take temporary physical custody of your son and for the past year, your father has been handling the day to day responsibilities of your sons care and now you feel that the setting has changed and that you are ready to take back the responsibilities of the day to day care of your son and I presume that your father disagrees and feels that you are still not ready to handle that role. I have no idea why was taking place in your life a year ago that caused you to determine it was best for your son to be cared for by your dad but im sure that if you press the issue, he is going to detail his fears and it probably will result in a call to DCPP for intervention. If the division then intervenes, your dad is going to detail why you temporarily gave him physical custody of your son and why he feels that temporary custody should remain with him. Again, I have no idea whether the world has changed and whether it would be best for your son to come back to live with you or remain with your dad but the focus should be on your son and what is best for him. Maybe the solution is a meeting between your dad and you in a neutral family law attorneys office to discuss the setting and maybe a plan can be worked out for you and him to share custody or a plan for you to get your son back while giving your dad confidence that you are able to handle that role again. Lawyers who specialize in divorce and custody work act as mediators every day and this would be the type of issue that maybe able to be worked out peacefully in that setting without DCPP's involvement or the involvement of the court system. ... Read More

I'm not sure I understand why he wants to change the Christmas schedule after 6 years but presumably, you and he have a written agreement or court order spelling out who has Christmas eve and who has Christmas day ( and what time is the pick-up / drop off and where the exchange is to take place). Pull out your agreement/court order and read what you and he agreed up / court ordered - that is your starting place. If he says that he wants to change the arrangement, take a deep breath and ask him what changes he wants and why he wants those changes. You may disagree with him and there may not be any real reasoning behind his request but unless and until a new court order is put in place or a new agreement is entered changing the schedule, your current order/agreement controls the holiday schedule. But....if he files an application with the court, saying that he wants to change the current schedule, he has a right to do so and you have the right to oppose his application ( and to also address any other issues outstanding that you feel need to be addressed) and then either the court will rule on those issues or the court will send you and him to outside mediation ( if the court feels that there is a legitimate dispute between your positions) in an effort to peacefully resolve it. If mediation is unsuccessful, then the court will bring both of you back and rule on the request to change the holiday plan and enter an order as to who has Christmas eve and who has Christmas day or whether it rotates annually and what time is the pick-up/drop off.  One alternate suggestion is to hire a divorce lawyer as a mediator now and submit the issue to the lawyer. The lawyer can review both of your positions and even meet with both of you by zoom now and if resolved, enter a form of a consent order or amendment to your agreement detailing the change in the plan and it can be handled quickly and less expensiviely. In this setting, the lawyer is neutral and works with both of you and potentially can get the issue resolved before Christmas.     ... Read More