New York Child Custody Legal Questions

You almost never are required to have a lawyer, but they almost always can save you a lot of grief. You could contact one of the entities that specifically serves legal needs of lower income people, such as Community Justice Inc. in Madison, or L.A.W. or Judicare in different parts of the state. Some counties conduct family law clinics where law students or volunteer lawyers help answer questions and fill out forms.... Read More

Hi First, i don't know that your mother actually "gave up her rights", that is terminated her parental obligations by going to Court.  If she did, that's very unusual. Second, the Family Court hates to deal with custody issues regarding a 17 year old.   However, in your case, i would say that your grandmother needs to go to Court to petition for custody of you because your father is abusive and beats you.  i would also suggest that she report the abuse to child protective services or, if you're in NYC, ACS.   They will do an investigation and you can advise the social worker that he has been beating you up.   A judge will not make you stay with him under those circumstances. One way or the other, someone needs to do something to protect you. Hope this helps Ilysa... Read More

The court is supposed to consider the best interests of the child as its primary concern. But the rights of each parent are also protected. I doubt that concern of yours would win a dispute, unless you had expert opinion or specific facts showing that the child would be harmed by shared placement. Courts favor joint placement, and I doubt that would be different in this case. Consult an experienced family law attorney who can develop more facts and details than this site. Good Luck.... Read More

If the child is still living with one spouse, then the other will pay child support until they are 21 in general. Check your divorce to see if any other situation is mentioned. If the child becomes officially emancipated I.e. Supports themselves as in the military, then support could be petitioned to stop. This is unlikely for someone the age of 16.... Read More

Hi You have an absolute right to be in the hospital when your son is born and to visit with him regularly thereafter.   Naturally, the mother will want you to pay child support as well. My best advice is to go to Family Court and bring a paternity petition, stating that you want to acknowledge that you are the baby's father and also to bring a petition for access to your son.  You should get to Family Court early and go to the petition room.   She will then have to be served. I wish you luck.  If you want to have a relationship with your son, no one should be able to stop you unless there is a danger to the child.  ... Read More

Hi I understand this is a very stressful time for you, but you must not leave your kids with him!  Start a divorce action and hire an attorney -- and make sure that attorney advises him or his lawyer that you need to separate physically for your own mental and physical health.  You want to take the kids with you.  It also can't be good for your kids -- but your leaving the kids with him tells a judge that you trust him to take good care of them.  You don't want to send that message now. Good luck... Read More

Hi If you have an agreement or even if it just was decided by court that custody is resolved, your sleeping with your ex-husband does not terminate or effect in any way a finalized custody agreement.  The only reconciliation is when you and he execute a document and have it notarized saying that you're reconciled. Hope this helps Good luck... Read More

Hi There are a number of questions i don't know the answer to -- how old is your son?   If he's 14 and over, a court will take into consideration where the child wants to live, particularly if his father has been neglectful. The bigger issue is actually that NJ is likely the appropriate jurisdiction to bring a petition to change custody.  I think you need to get advice from a NJ attorney who is best suited to determine what your chances of success are in that state.   I would urge you to get a referrral to an excellent attorney in the county in which the father resides.   Good luck! Ilysa  ... Read More

The appropriate standard for custody determination is the best interest of the child. Adultery may be considered, but really, unless lewd and inappropriate things were taking place in front of the child, it is less a factor than looking at hygiene, school records, who has primarily cared for the child, among other things. Many courts today don't look at adultery with the same level of disfavor as courts once viewed it. Talk to your lawyer about the best way to handle your custody dispute. Good luck.... Read More

You can file a police report, and also a habeas and custody petition in the Family Court. You are the child's father and you will have greater right than any of her non-parents. If the child is living in New York, then you must file here. If the child is not in New York, then you will need to fight about it in that state. Good luck.... Read More

Hi First, if he's leaving without his children, why would you think he would try to get custody of them? Second, NY is the children's home state.  If you're concerned that he will try to commence a custody battle, my advice is to go into Family Court immediately and petition for sole custody of your kids -- and child support!   if you have his address in KY, the FC will take care of serving him through the KY courts. Third, it sounds like you should be getting a divorce from this guy right off the bat.   FC does not handle divorces -- only Supreme Court does.  You need to start a divorce action and then can consolidate any action in FC into your Supreme Court action.  You're clearly entitled to child support, i don't know about spousal support, and equitable distribution of marital assets.  Who's going to provide health insurance for your kids?   Do you have a child care person?  He has to share in those expenses. Good luck! Ilysa  ... Read More

Yes. Under the Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) the formal calculation is to add Dad + Mom's incomes = Combined Parental Income. The statute then takes a percentage of the combined income (17% for one child, 25% for two, etc.) and determines a pro rata (percentage) for each parent to pay. A rough estimate of this number is actually the appropriate percentage based on the number of children from the noncustodial parent's income.  I'm sure this answer sounds confusing. The idea behind considering both parents' incomes is to give the appearance of fairness. You can find online child support calculators by looking on "Google." Good luck!... Read More

Hi The short answer is no: you can't not take child support and you can't prevent the father from seeing the father.   However, that's not where it stops. Feeding a 5 month old ice cream is clearly an indication that this guy has no parenting skills.   Go to Family Court, file a petition for modification of the father's access to the child until he attends parenting skills classes and can demonstrate that he knows how to care for an infant.  You don't know whether your child has food allergies and you don't start a baby of 5 months on milk products.   The Court should ensure that the father has an adequate understanding of how to take care of his son.   He obviously wasn't born knowing what to feed or not to feed a little one.  He needs to learn. Without those skills, he can harm your son.  I'm sure you don't want that to happen.   But preventing him from seeing his child is not the answer.   He has to learn how to be a parent.   Have the court make him do that.   If the court can't make him do that, then his access to the baby needs to be supervised.  You can ask the court to require supervision at his own cost and expense. Hope this helps. Ilysa Magnus... Read More

Hi The non-custodial parent always has a right to see his/her children -- it is, however, a right not an obligation. The question is what is good for your kids.   Without any kind of relationship with their father for 2 years and effectively having been abandoned by him during an important part of their lives, it is normal for these kids not to want to see him. What i would suggest is this:   advise the father that the kids need a period of time to get used to seeing him again.   Have him make contact by phone or email first.   Have him work to open up the doors and get the kids to trust him.   If he won't do that, and he wants access out of the box after disappearing for 2 years, no court is going to force your kids to see him for parental access periods.  If he insists, let him go to Family Court and bring a petition for visitation.  You will oppose him only to the extent that a program needs to be put in place where there is an adjustment period for the kids to get used to seeing him again.  Let's see if he stays around.  He can't pop in and out of their lives either.   The FC judge likely would appoint an attorney for your kids to protect their interests too -- because, in the final analysis, it's what's good for the kids, not for him. Is he paying child support for these children?  If not, bring a petition to enforce his support obligations! Does he have substance abuse problems?  Bring them immediately to the attention of the judge.  Have the judge schedule random drug tests. The other option is for the father to go into family counseling with the kids.   See if a therapist can bring them together. The kids clearly don't trust their father -- for good reason.  Your role is to protect them from harm.  If the father is going to harm them emotionally or physically, then you need to make sure that the kids are protected. Hope this helps Ilysa Magnus    ... Read More

Hi You appear now to be on notice that your son's father is abusive and probably addicted to some substances.   That he drove drunk with your son in the car is very, very bad.   If he is using cocaine, alcohol and/or other substances, it is your obligation to bring an application in Family Court to modify his access to your child, seek to have him drug tested (randomly too) and seek to have his access to the child supervised. You have a witness.  It sounds like she is pretty reliable because she felt compelled to protect your child.  Please don't be afraid of him.   If you are, get an order of protection.   Just make sure your child is protected also. Hope this helps Ilysa Magnus  ... Read More