New York Child Custody Legal Questions

Whether or not one parent can move far from the other parent with the child is usually determined by the custody order, if there is one, but as a rule, one parent cannot move far from the other without a very good reason. If you are concerned that the mom is about to take the daughter far from you without your permission, you can start a custody proceeding to sort this out. If she absolutely must move far from you, you need a detailed agreement regarding visitation (depending on the finances, she might be required to bring the child to see YOU). Ideally you can resolve this without court involvement, but if you're afraid she's going to disappear with your daughter, start a custody proceeding. ... Read More

The solution is for you to adopt your daughter, which will automatically terminate the parental rights of the child molester. No DNA test is necessary.  Wait until your daughter is 18 (if she isn't already) because then it becomes an adult adoption, which is simpler. The legal father will be entitled to notice, but you do not need his consent- he can't prevent the adoption. If you are married, your wife must also adopt your daughter, unless you are legally separated/ separated for at least three years. When the adoption is complete your daughter can get an amended birth certificate and then her father will truly be "off of her papers" for ever.  Good luck!  ... Read More

If your kids knew their grandmother at all, they should attend the funeral. But supervised visitation is supervised visitation. I understand your ex doesn't want a stranger (the supervisor) at his mother's funeral. So under the circumstances, unless there is extremely bad blood between you and his whole family, he should not have a problem with you being there. If you can trust his sisters not to leave your kids alone with their dad, they could supervise. But if you have any doubt whatsoever, don't let your kids go to the funeral unless you can attend, too. You don't have to get anywhere near the dad to keep an eye on your kids. ... Read More

Tell your son to relax- no court will give the mother sole custody with no visitation rights to the father unless there is an extremely good reason to keep the child away.  In fact, if the mother persists in trying to keep the child away from the father, your son might be able to get custody. In any case, to be safe, he should file a petition in the county in which the child lives for custody, and think about settlling for shared legal custody to both parents and physical custody to the mother, with a schedule of frequent visitation for the father. ... Read More

If there is no custody order in place you can file a petition for custody in the county where your child resides. If there is one in place, if you can prove violations and/or substantial change in circumstances of the custody arrangement to the detriment of your child since the time the order was made, you may be able to get a change of custody. If you cannot work out a parenting and custody agreement with the mother in court the matter will be set down for a hearing where you both have the chance to present evidence. If the child is old enough the child may give testimony but vastly preferable is a Lincoln hearing- where the child speaks privately with the judge and is not subject to being literally put in the middle of the litigation between the parents.  The court will appoint an attorney to represent the child. ... Read More

You don't say how old your child is but obviously a school age child cannot live in two different states and no court would order such an arrangement. You need to file a petition for custody in family court. If the dad also files for custody the court will award custody to the parent in the state in which the child has the strongest family ties and in which the child's education, activities and medical care takes place., The standard is always the best interests of the child.... Read More

If there is an existing order of visitation (I assume the father has custody) you can file a petition in family court for violation and enforcement to hold him in contempt of court and compel visitation. An attorney will be appointed to represent your child and if the child refuses to visit you the court can help with that, too. If this has been a chronic ongoing problem you can also file to change custody if you can prove there's been a substantial change in circumstances since the custody order was issued. ... Read More

Assuming the mother is not consenting to this, you need to file a petition for custody in the county in which the child lives, and prove the child would be better off with you than with the mother.  The court's determination is based on what is in the best interests of the child, which is almost always decided after a hearing.  If it is not clear-cut that one parent is a better choice than the other, it could be a long battle, which might be better resolved with an agreement to share legal and physical custody.  ... Read More

You don't say how old your child is and whether the dad's failure to be in your child's life also includes not paying child support but regardless, unless you've abused or neglected your child the dad will not be able to take him away from you. If you concede paternity or he proves paternity he must pay child support. Unless there is a good reason not to, he should also get some type of visitation. ... Read More

Unless your lesbian friend who "helped inseminate you" is a hermaphrodite and actually donated sperm, she has no rights. Have a heart to heart conversation with her and be honest about your feelings.  It's wonderful for a child to be surrounded by loving adults, but you are the one in charge, period. If that doesn't work, tell her to back off, and if necessary, go to family court and get a restraining order. ... Read More

Unless the dad's name is on the child's birth certificate and he has signed an acknowledgment of paternity, an unmarried father has an uphill battle to establish rights to visitation. Therefore, unless you have a visitation order that says otherwise, you are free to take your child out of state, and Dad must file a petition if he wants to stop you, and prove that it is in the best interests of your child to stay in the state he's in- and of course, pay child support.  ... Read More

So let me understand this. Your "loved one", who is about to be a father, feels that the best plan to deal with his pregnant, "troublesome" (i.e., financially and emotionally needy) baby mama is to take her newborn baby away from her, to another state?  Um, no. Hell no. Unless his baby mama is a criminal, drug addict or insane, none of which seems to be the case here, not a judge on the planet would give dad custody. What SHOULD the expecting father do?  Give his baby mama money to get set up in the "stable home" his child needs. And since he has such a strong desire to be an involved dad, perhaps he should find a job in the state where his child lives- and move there. And of course, dad must pay child support. It's the law. If baby mama has any sense, she'll sue dad for child support as soon as she and baby are released from the hospital. Under New York law, an out-of-state child support order is enforced the same as a New York support order- with a direct deduction from dad's paycheck, in an amount based on his income. While paying support is mandatory for dad, visitation is something he will need to be awarded by a court, by filing a petition for visitation in mom's state. If dad is smart, he will stay out of court by sending mom child support BEFORE his wages are garnished, and setting up a visitation schedule with mom as soon as the child is born.      ... Read More

I understand your anger at the father for his non-involvement in your pregnancy and your child's life, but unless he is an abuser or a drug addict, let him see his son. Of course dad withdrew his petition and temporarily disappeared after the "long battle in FC"- who wants to be in a battle? Set up a visitation schedule, and if you haven't already done so, set up a child support payment schedule as well. The amount he must pay is determined by law and based on both of your salaries. Your son is entitled to have his father in his life, and to be supported by him.  ... Read More

In a normal custody agreement parents usually need the permission of the other parent to take a minor child out of state. Unless you're doing something to endanger your child's welfare, not a court in this country would let the father take your child away from you, and there's something very wrong with a dad who would suggest it. However. if dad will be in NY, file two petitions - one for child support (even if he's paying it's always good to have it in writing in a court order), and another for an order of protection preventing him from not only taking the child out of state but from coming anywhere near you and your son. If your son's dad wants visitation rights, let him file a petition - and the visitation must take place in New York, and since he's threatened to take your son, I would demand that  it to be supervised.... Read More

Even if you are awarded full custody, that doesn't necessarily give you the right to go out of state and essentially take the baby away from her mother, unless there is abuse going on- in which case you should ALREADY have custody. As long as there is no abuse going on, work out a custody agreement that gives you shared legal custody with the mother, and gives her full physical custody and gives you liberal visitation rights. Then go out of state and find a job- you need to support yourself and your baby.  But unless there is abuse going on, you can't possibly expect to get custody AND move out of state and take the baby away from her mother.   ... Read More

Have a look at your custody agreement- the answer depends on the wording. There is likely a clause that deals with medical decisions. Sometimes the custodial parent has full decision making authority, sometimes the requirement is that both parents must consult with each other, and sometimes it specifies that they must come to a mutual decision.  If your agreement says you must consult with each other, and you've attempted to  but he refuses, you are free to make the decision to medicate your son without your ex husband's consent.  ... Read More

Unless there is an order of protection in place barring you from seeing your children, you should have access to them. I would need  more information- is the divorce final, is there a custody/visitation order in place, etc. If there is an existing order you can bring an action for contempt if the lack of visitation is due to violation of the order. As far as the law guardian, they are often appointed by the court in highly contentious cases to represent the interests of the children. Your son will be interviewed separately by the law guardian (his lawyer) and the law guardian will make recommendations to the judge regarding visitation and custody. ... Read More

In answer to your question "where can I find a lawyer", lawyers.com is a good place to start. When your attorney files a petition, you will need a certified copy of your child's birth certificate (I assume your name is on it) as proof of paternity (I also assume there was no marriage and therefore no custody agreement.) Keep in mind that while you may "just want visitation", you are also legally obliged to pay child support, calculated as a percentage of your salary, if you're not already doing so. Good luck. ... Read More

Technically, while it is always better to get a court order or permission, because the father has moved out of the state to NJ there isn't a real reason for you to be made to stay here in NY. If he isn't having much visitation, why would he object to the move? Maybe you can get permission or at least establish an open line of communication with him. Once the child lives in any state for six months, that state will become the home state.  You may not have much of a relationship with your child's father, but that is still your child's father and the older your child gets, the more your son will have questions about his dad. Having a line of communication with dad now may benefit you all in the long-run. Good luck.... Read More

The mother can appoint who cares for the child during her custodial time unless the court order says different. If it is not in the best interest of your son or a risk of harm to your son to be with the maternal grandmother, then you would have to go to court and have a judge order a restriction or change in visitation. You should consult with an attorney about such a case.... Read More