New Jersey Family Legal Questions

You and your former partner have ended your relationship and as part of that break-up, he has agreed to pay you the sum of xxx as settlement of claims you and he agree are owed to you. To pay you that sum of money, he is willing to sign an agreement authorizing the lawyer representing him in a pending civil lawsuit to pay over to you the sum of xxx from the net proceeds of the settlement (which amount needs to be defined as a specific dollar amount).  It is not a difficult document to draft but as a lawyer, I would want to have him and the lawyer representing him sign an acknowledgment that you have a lien on the file and that no distributions can be made to him or to any other beneficiary until the satisfaction of the obligation owed to you. This is not the type of document that you should attempt to draft yourself nor should you ask the lawyer representing him to prepare. For reasons too voluminous to go into in this response, I would also not reference any claim for emotional damages flowing from the relationship in the preamble to the agreement since same may give rise to specific concerns by the other lawyer and blow up your deal. I would keep the language simple.   ... Read More

Thank you for your question. Only in very rare circumstances would a judge make changes to a consent order.  In fact, it is practically never the case in which a Judge would override an agreement between the parties.  In some circumstances a Judge might change agreed upon deadlines to exchange documents or perform appraisals (e.g., if the agreed timelines far exceed those allowed by the Court Rules) but a judge likely would not change financial agreements or agreements regarding restrictions on a particular party’s conduct.  That being said, if you have further questions or need to discuss this in more detail you should consider speaking with an experienced family law attorney. ... Read More

At first blush, it looks like your ex's family loses, but it still has to pass the smell test or else you will find yourself in the middle of litigation and legal fees. If this was simply a pure gift with no strings attached and no conditions, then it seems odd that they are demanding the return of the car. If they are demanding the return of the car, the next question is why did they buy it for you, what were you supposed to do with it and was it intended for you or for their son's benefit. Something seems to be missing from this story, that needs to be fleshed out.  As an example, if they purchased a car for your use because their son could not drive and the plan was that you were to use the car to drive their son to and from his job, therapy, etc and 3 months later, you and he break up, I can understand why they are upset and in that setting, you knew that the purpose of the purchase was not purely a gift.  Conversely, you and your boyfriend have been togther for the past 10 years and because of a million acts of kindness shown to the parents over that 10 year period of time, they decide to surprise you and buy you a car with no strings attached - different story than presented above.  My suggestion is that you get a clearer understanding of why they purchased the car in the first place and why they feel that you owe them money today for it because a lawyer cannot give you a simple answer without you providing all of that information. ... Read More

You are mixing apples with peaches. The lawyer is simply letting the court know that the filing fee for whatever document is being filed can be taken from the lawyers account with the court. Its similar to a prepaid postage account. The filing fee item though has nothing to do with the court's award of a legal fee on a motion or after a trial ( except the judge can consider the filing fees as part of a counsel fee award).... Read More

This is not really a legal question. My suggestion is that you sit down calmly with him and agree that the relationship is over and that you simply need a month to find a new place to live or to arrange to move elsewhere. You have no legal right to remain in your boyfriend's home and presumably, as a result of what was said during that fight, he no longer wishes to live with you. If he does not want you to live with him any longer, then my suggestion is that you ask him for some money to permit you and your son to rent an efficiency apartment for the next several weeks to find a new place to move to.  If he locks you out of the home, then ask the local police to intervene and speak with him about permitting you and your son to remain in the home for the next few weeks to find a new place to live. ... Read More

You can legally change your name and you can handle it on your own. Contact the family part of the county courthouse in the county you live in to obtain a pro se package for name change purposes, starting with the filing of a name change complaint.  There are several steps to the process, but as long as you follow the steps and provide the court with proof of your compliance ( in a timely manner), the court will sign the order permitting you to change your name. You can also go on line to see the steps involved, so that you know what will be expected of you as part of the process. ... Read More

Thank you for your question. In the event a resident of the home is an owner of the property they have the right to be there absent some agreement or Court Order preventing the person from being able to reside there. In the event of a divorce, if the property is a marital asset, then there needs to be a resolution on how the spouses’ respective ownership interest in the home should be distributed. Based on your circumstances, it would be best to contact an experienced family law attorney to address your specific concerns. ... Read More

Thank you for your question. Contemplating divorce can be stressful and scary for anyone, but especially if you are in an abusive relationship. You can get advice on all manner of issues pertaining to your situation during a free consult with an experienced family law attorney. Sadly your situation happens frequently, and you have more options than you might think. Make an appointment soon, it will help a lot once you know what your options are and you can make a solid plan for your next steps.... Read More

Thank you for the question. Issues of custody are complex. As a general matter, the rights of biological parents supersede that of any other relatives. However, there are instances where this is not necessarily the case. In your situation, I think it is important that you consult with any attorney regarding whether or not you would have standing to make an application for custody of your nephew, or if an agreement can be worked out with his father such that he would agree to allow your nephew to live with you. If your nephew's living situation rises to the level of neglect, then there are other means with which to address the situation. ... Read More

For a legal adoption to be accomplished, both biological parents need to surrender their legal rights to another person who is willing to adopt you. I dont know what has taken place in your life that both of your biological parents are willing to surrender their legal rights to you but presumably you believe that it is best for you. The person willing to adopt you will then file a formal adoption complaint with the court system and accompanying that complaint should be the written statements by both biological parents acknowledging their agreement to surrender their legal right to you over to this other person and that both acknowledge that it is best for you and that it is a permanent decision. After that complaint is filed with the court system, there is an investigation by a state agency of the person seeking the adoption and the household to ensure that it is appropriate and that there are no concerns about the person seeking the adoption. Once all of the paperwork is filed, the court will then set a final hearing date and then grant the adoption. Once the adoption is approved, then the person seeking the adoption is recognized formally and legally as your parent and the rights and obligations on your biological parents terminated. ... Read More

Simplest way to start is to ask her for a copy of the power of attorney document she claims your grandmother. I would also confirm your request in a writing (text message or email). Presuming she gives it to you, most likely the document will identify the name of the lawyer and the law firm that prepared the document. I would then reach out to that lawyer to find out what other changes were made to her estate plan (if any). If the lawyer does not wish to speak with you or provide you with any information, you need to speak with your grandmother to find out if she understood what powers she gave her neighbor. If her understanding was different from what the neighbor said, then you might want to record that conversation with your grandmother and then go to a lawyer who specializes in estate litigation for a consultation, bring with you the power of attorney document and the recording and any other material you have as to your grandmothers lack of mental capacity understand her actions including an identification of her medicines, the name of each doctor ( all listed on her medicines and in her healthcare benefit statements). The key is whether your grandmother was / is in control of her facilities to understand her actions and the powers given to the neighbor. If she is in control of her facilities and intentionally gave those powers to her neighbor, then you have a tougher road to prove undue influence. ... Read More

The old expression "right church, wrong pew" applies to your setting. This is not a matter to be handled by a divorce lawyer but by a lawyer who specializes in " special needs" law, "special education" law or or by lawyers who specialize in disability claims. I would search for lawyers who limit their practice to special needs law or special education law, as opposed to a lawyer who does everything and claims to also handle this area as well.  Most of the lawyers who specialize in these areas will provide you with a free initial consultation and have experience with "out of home placement" for children with developmental disabilities. ... Read More

Thank you for your question. Your social security is not reduced by your share of his pension which is typically via a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order).  The pension is equitable distribution.  Social security will not be affected by any other source of income you get. I hope this was helpful to you.... Read More

Thank you for your question.  I am sorry to hear you are going through this stressful time.  In a situation like the one you describe, you would likely need to file a Motion to Enforce Litigant’s Rights in the event your ex-spouse does not make the child support payment.  In the event there are other orders which he/she is not complying with, you may want to include those Orders in the motion as well.  There's a need to review the Orders and the MSA in order to provide you with a definitive answer.  I strongly urge you to schedule an attorney consultation.... Read More

Every lawyer handling family law matters is required to maintain a conflicts checklist system that should be checked before scheduling a consultation.  If you met with a particular family law attorney for a consultation and discussed the merits of your matter and your position with regard to issues to be addressed in the divorce, that lawyer cannot then represent your spouse in your divorce matter. If you met with a different lawyer in that law firm ( not the same lawyer as met with your wife), then the issue is whether that law firm can create a "Chinese wall" to ensure that none of the information you provided to the lawyer in the consultation setting is provided to the lawyer representing your wife and ensuring that the lawyer you met with has nothing to do with your divorce file. Candidly, most judges will be concerned about the same law firm representing your wife after a lawyer in that firm already met with you to discuss the same divorce issues. it smells bad and looks bad and your current lawyer has a right to serve notice on your wife's new lawyer of the conflict of interest and demand that your wife's lawyer removes herself from the case. If the lawyer refuses and you are concerned about what you said in the consultation and how that information can be used against you, then your lawyer has the right to file an application with the court to compel your wife's lawyer/law firm to leave the matter completely. Side note.... there have been cases where the client does not object to the other lawyer remaining in the case because of the working relationship between the 2 new lawyers or for any number of other reasons discussed between you and your new lawyer. As such, the issue for you to decide is whether that conflict is one which you want to press for the other lawyers' removal. Talk with your lawyer and make that decision but you can't hold it as an ace up your sleeve to pull out at a later date. It's either addressed immediately or you will lose the ability to raise it. ... Read More

Absent a valid prenuptial agreement, a postnuptial agreement is generally speaking not worth the paper it is written on. Over the course of years, I have seen lawyers prepare postnuptial agreements for clients, telling them that it will be helpful to a court to know what you and your spouse thought was "fair" since you and she were having marital difficulties. Wrong! If you want a divorce, then hire a divorce lawyer and move on with your life. If you are unhappy but decide to stay married, then you made a moral choice ( for the sake of the children, etc) and that decision has consequences. I cannot tell someone to stay married or get a divorce but if you decide to stay married, that piece of paper is not going to be a salvation for you nor is it going to help you at a later date when you do decide to divorce. There are only "extremely limited" settings where a postnuptial agreement has been found by a court to be enforceable in a divorce setting... and start off with the presumption that your setting will not meet that test. Sorry but I think it's better to be blunt than to suggest to you that it is going to help you gain a tactical advantage in a divorce at a later date. Even if your spouse has a lawyer represent her in the signing of the agreement, it is still not enforceable. As a general statement, I think most people who ask a lawyer to prepare postnuptial agreements do so to make themselves feel better, knowing that the terms will not be enforced by the court and presume that the lawyer who drafted the document will have a letter in his / her file confirming that he told you that it was not enforceable but that you wanted it drafted anyway.  If a lawyer actually does tell you that it is enforceable in a divorce setting and is willing to prepare such a document for you, then  he/she should be willing to sign a document stating: "I have reviewed New Jersey statutory and case law and have advised you that the terms of this postnuptial agreement shall be binding upon your spouse in the event of a future divorce and I have advised you that under NJ law, by virtue of your spouse signing this document, she shall not be entitled to any claim of support or distribution of assets other than provided for her in this agreement" ... Read More

You were given incorrect information. It is not a conflict of interest for her to agree to represent him. If she had represented you in a legal matter and now agreed to represent him against you - that would be a conflict of interest since she acquired personal information about you as a result of her prior representation of you and now would use that knowledge against you. As to her decision to represent him - it probably is not the smartest decision since she may not be objective in the advice given. She would be smarter to suggest that he retain a family law attorney, who is knowledgeable on family law issues and who can give him objective and fair legal counsel. ... Read More

I am truly sorry to hear that your childhood setting sucks ( that is actually a legal term). I cannot imagine what is taking place in your house or why it is taking place but i am also sure that your parent's version of events will be markedly different from yours. That does not mean that you are wrong or right, it simply means that everyone sees and hears the world differently. Think about the recent presidential election - approximately 74,000,000 people voted for Trump and about 75,000,000 million people voted for Biden and yet when you listen to one news channel, it will suggest that the "majority" of people agree with Trump, and then when you listen to a different news channel, it will tell you that the majority of Americans disagree with Trump or think that Biden is great. This is not intended as a political commentary but to simply point out the about 1/2 of the country feels one way and about the same amount feel completely different about the same issues and depending on who you listen to, determines the "spin" placed on specific actions by the 2 men. My sense is that your household is exactly the same with neither side able to hear what the other is saying or doing or able to find a middle group acceptable to the other. So, what do I suggest for you? When I sit in a consultation setting with someone facing difficult choices, I suggest that the person "map a solution" - meaning create a plan in your head for a specific change to occur and put the date on the calendar. The reason why you are so frustrated is that you cannot envision a date for when your world can change for the better. Instead, map a plan for your future now and pick a date on the calendar for when it is to occur. A lot of the frustration will dissipate knowing that you can see a date in your head for a change to take place. Since you are concerned about school ( a good thing), talk with your guidance counselor or reach out to a governmental program in your county for social services counseling to help you with assistance with a college or trade school program and potentially funding for housing. Start to take control of your life in a constructive way and stop arguing with those who you see as being negative. ... Read More

You should have a consultation with a divorce law specialist instead of trying to figure out where you are at and what your rights/obligations are as a result of your wife's actions. The fact that she spent money to furnish an apartment to move into, does not mean that the expense is a legitimate marital expense to be divided in a divorce. Yet, if she was moving out and left you with all of the furniture and furnishings in the house, then maybe the expense is legitimate since she might have been entitled to share in those items in the house. When you meet with a family law attorney, he can review with you the expense information to discuss how it should be viewed and whether that expense can be off set against her interest in other assets ( ie retirement account). During your meeting, you need to discuss custody and parenting time issues as well as her obligation for the payment of child support. ... Read More

I am guessing that you are married and living with your spouse and have decided to divorce and want to know if you can force your spouse out of the house by renewing the lease for the home being rented in your name alone. If my understanding of the setting is correct, you NEED to meet with a divorce lawyer immediately since your way of handling the issue will simply result in a fight and potentially a domestic violence setting. Simply by changing the name on the lease does not mean that you then have a right to throw your spouse out of her home or that it gives you greater rights to it especially if you earn more money than she does and she is financially dependant on you. If you want to end your marriage, do things the right way and meet with a divorce lawyer to learn what you can and cannot do at this stage and what your obligations / rights are as opposed to simply throwing her out and then finding yourself in a worse setting. ... Read More

The best way to handle this issue is to have a formal writing between you and the biological mother and step father, where they agree in a writing that they are waiving all claims to child support from you and that they will waive all claims for all child support arrears and that they will direct the probation department to vacate all arrears from the account and close out the probation department account. Absent a formal writing signed by all parties that directs the probation department to vacate any claim of arrears and to close out its account will not get rid of the arrearages outstanding. If the adoption is finalized, from that date forward, the probation department will acknowledge that it cannot continue to collect child support but unless directed to vacate all arrears up to that point, those arrears will remain and be collected. You must have a formal writing signed by you, the bioliogiocal mother and the step father and it must be in numbered paragragh form telling them exactly what is taking place - they are not going to accept your claims or even what you say they agreed upon - if it is not in a writing and signed, they cannot simply accept it.  ... Read More

It is not uncommon for parties to work out a framework of a deal and then ask a lawyer to then flesh out those terms into a formal settilement agreement and then assist in the filing of a complaint for divorce seeking enforcement of the settlement agreement signed by both parties. From a procedural standpoint, the next step is to have a consultation ( which inital consultation is free) with a partner in our firm to review the details of the marriage, assets, income settings, children, etc to then match up the framework of the deal against all of the issues that need to be addressed in an agreement ( based on the information provided in the consultation). Presuming everything has been addressed in the framework of the deal, we can then advise you on the retainer cost to prepare the proposed settlement agreement and complaint for divorce. ... Read More

I have been a divorce lawyer for the past 34 years and am pretty tough ( on the outside) but this type of inquiry still causes me sadness since im sure that you sincerely are angry, hurt, frustrated at your current setting and im also sure that your mom does not know how her actions impact you or does not know how best to communicate with you. Im also sure that between your view of the world and your mom's view of the world, there is a lot of struggling taking place and possibly your mom may not have the financial resources to give you the life and the home setting you would like to have. Simply states, life sometimes "sucks" and it may be the reason why you and she are banging heads. Over the course of years, my wife & I have also taken in kids from our local community who were friendly with our sons because of conflicts in their households. In one setting, we took guardianship of a a boy, whose parents had mental health issues and nightly, he slept with his cell phone under his pillow hoping for a call from his mom. Nothing was more heart wrenching to watch then to see the sadness in that boys heart waiting to see if his parents would get the treatment needed for him to go home. My suggestion for you is to google mental health assistance programs offered through your county or through DCPP and maybe you can begin counseling to help you better communicate with your mom and maybe she can then attend the counseling with you so that she can better understand how to constructively communicate with you. Dont give up on your mom.... it may be that she is suffering as well for a million other reasons and does not know how to discuss her issues with you too. ... Read More

Right off the bat, my sense is that you are misunderstanding the actual terms of your divorce agreement or someone explained the terms to you incorrectly. Believe it or not, in New Jersey family law, there is no such legal term as "joint custody". 85% of all divorce agreements in New Jersey say that the parties shall maintain a "joint legal custody" arrangement for the benefit of their child[ren], which term actually has nothing to do with the parenting time plan in place for you with your child. "Joint legal custody" means that when there is a major decision affecting your child's health, education or general welfare, you and the primary custodial parent must discuss it.  When you have a joint legal custodial plan, it also means that one parent is the parent of primary residence and has the child[ren] living with him / her more than 50% of the overnight time. The other parent is identified as the “parent of alternate residence”, which means that the child[ren] live with him / her less than 50% of the time.  Alternatively, some people have a "joint physical custodial plan", where the child[ren] live with both parents approximately equal amount of overnight time and in this limited setting, neither parent is designated as the parent of primary custody and the agreement would specifically spell out a shared equal custodial plan where the child[ren] live in each parents home approximately equal amounts of time during the year.  So, presumably you have a joint legal custodial plan and in that setting, the agreement should spell out your entitlement to a specific parenting time plan. If things have changed since the agreement was put in place, that can constitute a "change in circumstance" and give you the ability to renegotiate your parenting time with the child[ren] or file an application with the court seeking to modify the plan. If you are planning to seek modification of the existing plan because of a change in circumstance setting, my suggestion is to do it right and hire an experienced family law attorney to file it. If you screw it up, filing it on your own or through a lawyer who is not a family law specialist, you will not then be able to simply refile that application with a different lawyer. You have 1 shot to do it correctly, so hire the specialist to work with you on that application.     ... Read More

Having practiced divorce & family law in New Jersey (exclusively) for the past 34 years affords me the luxury of being blunt and direct with you in response to your inquiry. Based on the limited information provided, it sounds as if the issue is simply your unhappiness with him wanting to take the children away on a vacation as opposed to any legitimate health issue. Being brutally honest, it sounds as if you are concerned that the children are going to have fun and want to spend more time with him "and his new family" and you are afraid.  It’s understandable but your role as the primary custodial parent is to help the children have a healthy and happy childhood and the more actively their father is in their lives and the more willing he is to be involved, presumably it will be to their benefit. You may need to bite your lip thinking of the million times that you had to remind him of events in the children’s lives or even beg him to attend but your glory is seeing your children blossom into healthy adults with healthy relationships. Never an easy task. I am sure that you will miss them and hope that they have a great time and the best thing for you to do, is to tell them to have fun, behave, be respectful and that when they get back, they can tell you all about their trip. The worst thing you can do is cry when they are leaving, call them while away looking for them to spill dirt on their father and engage in actions to make it clear that you did not want them to go away. If so, when they get back, they will be panicked thinking that you are going to grill them on everything bad about the trip or grill them seeking info to use against their father. Don’t. Tell them that you love them and that you want them to have fun. As far as the arrears, they also are not relevant from a courts perspective as to whether he is entitled to parenting time or vacation time with the children. They are 2 separate issues and the failure to be current in his support obligation will not preclude him from being with the children. If anything, making it easier for him to see and be with the children will probably help in getting him to assist in paying for other expenses for the children over time. My experience is that the tighter you control those reins on when he can see or be with the children, the more likely he will be resistant to help out with the payment of extra curriculars, etc. Your ex may be a guy who is cheap and will not give you an extra penny for the children no matter what you do to accommodate him but remember that the real reason for your actions is to help your children have as normal a relationship with both parents as possible, even if he is a jerk. ... Read More